i'm dying! but i'm getting better...

so this morning i wake up and my face is just absolutely pounding and my teeth are seriously feeling as though they are about to fall out. i can barely turn my head, and i call my mother crying. she is mean and so is my sister cuz they can tell i'm calling to unload the baby as I AM DYING! so i wonder to myself, why isn't this prescription working? i call up my mother in law who works for an oral surgeon, and ask her, "what do you gander about 250 mgs of amoxicillin?" she laughs at the thought and says, "that's a CHILD'S prescription dosage!" so i am furious!!! i am NEVER going to my doctor again because he totally effed with me! he pretty much gave me a bullshit prescription. i am outraged and cursing the man out. i call my mother again, on the verge of tears, and she takes charge (finally!) and gets me an appointment with her ear, nose and throat guy.
well.
i have been avoiding this trip since i was in college (undergrad). due to fear, perhaps, or due to the probability that i would need some sort of "procedure" such as the "scraping of my sinuses." alas, i was in too much pain to protest.
so after waiting in the waiting room for an eternity with a bunch of weird, angry deaf people (one woman and man had to of course start talking to my mother, who will tell anyone her life story. the woman was OLD, you could tell, but absolutely beautiful. she must have been stunning in her youth. so my mother tells them i'm PUSHING 30. which i hated her for. they told me i look 18 and have a "very sweet face." my face is godforsaken and swollen and red. they must have been blind too!)so the doc sees me, and instantly sticks 2 large cotton balls doused in liquid cocaine up my nostrils. so i'm going numb, but the teeth that hurt still hurt, and the other ones feel like they're jutting out at ridiculous angles.
he comes back in and performs a lot of delicate and sinus filled excursions, such as sticking a light on the end of a looooooooooong tube up my nasal cavity and through my throat making me gag. then he sucks all the disease out, which was fucking amazing. i could BREATHE! and then he gives me 2 bottles of some sort of nasal spray and 2 prescriptions for REAL and STRONG meds. halleluiah.
i still feel like shit, but i am sure i'll be getting better now...i'm missing out on a fun filled day. i didn't go with amy and her bridal party to get fitted, so i have to do that next week, and i'm not going to the beets/dotcom house for cupcakes and beer tonight, and it makes me sad. if amy or mike read this "I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I'M SO SORRY I MISSED YOU BOTH TODAY!!! HAPPY BDAY AND HAPPY DRESS FITTING DAY!!!" love me!
the baby is in her crib shouting, "i took of my jamas!" so i think i have to go take care of that one.
also! i'm retarded and i'm reading this book by chuck klosterman who i assumed co-wrote a book with marc spitz (i was wrong. the book was "we got the neutron bomb: the untold story of l.a. punk" which was co-written with Brendan Mullen)which i mentioned to andy who said, "um, i think he judged THE CONTEST." which of course means the "let's go steady, debbie!" contest, which i'm about to check if its true... yes siree! it's true! so this guy, who i'm quite enjoying reading, could have quite possibly VOTED FOR ECHO STATION!! i am bursting with pride! oh p.s. READ THIS BOOK!