why it sucks being a teacher AND mother. who works.

while work was good today (excellent sessions with both boys! score!) my life was just smashed to smitherines because of juliet.
first i drop her off. 2 days a week, andy drops her off. and i guess she just scampers away and plays. we drop her off about 1 hour or 45 minutes before actual school starts, and this unstructured time is just not good for her. anyway, today I dropped her off. and while at first she scampers away, once i'm out the door, she is hysterical crying. "where did my mommy go?" i hear her wailing. with heavy heart, i go to my first client.

a 2 year old boy.

it just kills me to spend time with these other kids while mine is crying in a suckfiled school.

so i go to pick her up and i'm about 10 minutes early...i walk through the doors...and she's sitting outside her classroom.

she's 2.

with the assistant teacher.

"Mommy!" she cries. excited. however, i know that this is not a good situation. "why are you out here?" i ask.

and she replies.

"i'm in time out."

she's 2.

apparently she ripped the buttons off some kid's snowman project. which is just dreadful, i know. but she's TWO YEARS OLD. she is probably bored out of her skull because she is so goddamned advanced; she probably thought she was helping the freakin' kid. but she doesn't even REALIZE what she did. the assistant teacher admits that she tends to do things out of some innate desire of exploration (okay, i made the fancy words up but she said she just seems drawn to doing these things). she does. she takes things apart. she disects things. and she opened the door to say goodbye to her teacher, and there they were, a bunch of 2 year olds (who don't really talk, walk, run, play) sitting in circle time.

silent.

behaving.

and i know juliet is NOT doing that. she is too curious. too wild. too intense.

and excuse me. i do NOT want a cookie cutter baby. my daughter is amazing. i encourage her to think and do and explore.

so why the hell am i allowing her to be stunted in this way?? i feel so trapped. as a teacher and therapist, i feel like crying whenever i think of all the time i spend helping other's children. giving parents reassurance. finding ways to make lessons and sessions more interesting to grab the kid.

yet my kid.

my freaking genius.

is stuck in time out.

at 2.

i need to find a way out of this.