i can't believe that ten years have really gone by...

"Let me give you some insight into my insides
I haven't been this confused in such a long time
you can't believe I've spent just losing my mind
I can't believe that 10 years have really gone by
it's been a long time
Had a plan for every year I've been alive
a million more I've built up inside of me
there's a million more that I have bottled up
and that I've fucked up
do you feel like the hard times are mountains you've climbed lying awake
it still feels like it's '(96) it's been along time
those mindless days the plans that I've made
the countless mistakes all the times I've changed
through the years I faced all that's kept me sane
every single day."

i just realized that i have been at the college of new rochelle for 10 fucking years this september. 10 years ago i started my college career, as a bright eyed freshman. my whole future was ahead of me. because i'm still @ cnr (as a grad student, it didn't really take me 10 years to graduate)it is so fucking weird. i remember exactly how it felt to be there, starting anew, at 18 years old. certain sights, smells, sounds, transport me right back to 1996.

this year is feeling a lot like that year. i am embarking on a new quest/journey, being student teaching/aba therapy, so i have that same nervous butterfly feeling of hope in my stomach, like i did starting out in my cultural legacies class. i was an honor student (for that whole freshman year, before i really started to hate college and therefore not really go as i was supposed to), i was really trying hard to make friends, even tho i was a commuter who was basically used for her car. i drove to white plains the other day, and yep, i was there again, with katie and diane, trying to manuver my way through the pesky one way trappings on the way to the galleria. once, i ended up in the bronx. ah, the joys of being the only one with a car.

so in all, it is totally freaking me out. because while there are talks of 10 year high school reunions going on (which should have happened by june the latest as far as i'm concerned) i really don't believe i belong ANYWHERE for a ten year reunion. i was only at pchs for one year, so i could give a shit to see anyone. the people i hang out with graduated before me anyway, and those who i did graduate with who i want to see, i do see. or at least keep in touch with. you know, on myspace. but seriously. its only been 10 years. i haven't even finished college. (hehehe, you know what i mean) i mean, a lot has changed in my life (i.e. i am married, have a 2 year old, etc) but who doesn't know that? let's wait til its 20 years, then see where we all are. that is much more interesting.

and i read something on myspace about john jay having a reunion. but alas, i was only there for 3 years. and while i should feel i belong there, i really fucking don't.

if the college of new rochelle had a 10 year reunion, maybe i'd feel like i belonged enough to that school and that community to go to it, but i'm just not feeling the high school bull shit.

strangely enough, in pchs, i hung out w/a group of girls. we called ourselves the 7 sisters (there were, in fact, seven of us). out of the 7, three will have gotten married within months of each other this very summer. isn't it so odd how things go down? i know i was at one of these weddings (love you amanda!) and i know that there will be 3 of them at the upcoming wedding. the one that just transpired, i don't think anyone was there from pc. but it just got me to thinking how at the time, high school is so important, and your friends are everything. but then life goes on...and things change so rapidly and so abruptly. its weird.

i'm getting so fucking old.

oh no wait

40 year old virgin IS the funniest movie ever in this entire universe. seriously.

active laziness...

so i'm like running on a tread mill here with my life. i have been assigned a case which means i start work on tuesday yet i have to do these 2 urgent observations by then or i cannot work. um. its wednesday. ONE of the four therapists that i've called have called me back, and she has nothing for me to observe. i'd have to do observations thursday and friday since monday is labor day, yet how am i to do this if i cannot get in touch w/anyone? i feel like i'm just sitting here doing nothing about the pressing matters in my life (student teaching, therapy, observations, etc) and its driving me quite mad. i called the principal for barnard and left a message but still nothing. wtf?! my advisor hasn't written or called me back. i am going into theracare to do a paperwork orientation, but i really just feel helpless and don't know what the hell to do.

so i ended up going to the mall w/my mother and got a nice new wardrobe(ish) for student teaching. some cute pants, which are ever so not my style, but cute none the less. i should get them out of the shopping bag before they get all wrinkled.

the season finale of rescue me sucked so bad. i want to just yell at denis leary, even tho i love him so so much.

i am probably going to kill my sister and her fiance cuz they suck such huge ones right now. friday is his bday, and we have plans. andy was going to leave the yankee game early, leave bobby there, make him get a ride home w/someone else, just to be there. however, i heard from my mother that the fuckers have already made alternate plans w/the asshole who i fucking hate who is the TRUE best man. i am so fucking done with them its not even funny. just venting. sorry.

anywho, i have some pea soup in the microwaive so i must go eat it. i've made enough soup the last few days to allow me to open a soup kitchen.

arrogance is bliss

what is it that people want, exactly? do they want you to be a cowering, insufficient waste of life? is that what it would take for people to like you?

take andy's company. they are so rubbed the wrong way by him, because he is competent and confident...they always mistake this for arrogance and cockiness. andy is the best fucking manager (probably employee in general) that they have in the piece of shit company yet for whatever reason, he is constantly their kicking post. the kid lives and breathes the bullshit day in and day out (um, we do in fact live here, you know). he knows the place and its quirks inside and out. instead of saying, "damn good job catching that glitch, young sir" there always like, "why do you think you know everything?"

this shit would drive me straight up the wall. because i am quite certain that i DO know everything. if i was doing my job, and kicking its ass, yet was stuck in this dead end position and getting heat for every goddamn thing that goes wrong, i'd fucking shoot myself. i am sooooo glad that andy went back to school. fuck this place.

yes andy started school last night. when i asked him how it went, he said, "the following adjectives come to mind: searing ass rape. suicide. painful death." apparently it was boring. oh well.

its a shitty and rainy day. i have made several phone calls to different therapists to let me tag along and observe sometime this week, to no avail. juliet met her new babysitter, who she shall from this day forth call "nanny" and she LOVED her and her house, and melted dead to the floor shouting, "no way mommy!" when we had to go. crap.

summer is quickly slipping by. my least favorite holiday is nearly upon us (that would be labor day. it is a surefire summerkiller) and its just been so awful out all week. the yankee game is cancelled tonight (i assume) there is a hurricane coming from florida. and all i want to do is take a nap w/juliet.

i'm officially a therapist!

just got my first case! i'm not really cleared to work yet, but i HAVE to be by next tuesday, cuz that's when i start my first aba training. i'm so prooooud. prooooooud.

we watched haggard last night and i am pretty sure that its the funniest goddamn movie known to man. including my original fave, 40 year old virgin.

white trash rules!

I am 19% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

people. i hate them.

yes, things just continue to be dramatic and awful. my poor sister...you can see it in her eyes, how upset things are making her. and she is just not happy. there seems to be things going on that no one really knows about. looking back, i am just so happy there was nothing like this happening with my own wedding. why is there a weird family competetion? why is it my rockin' parties vs. his sister's parties? seriously, are we that insecure that we're going to have party wars? sister, bring that shit on. no one can throw a party like i can.

speaking of which...i am supposed to be calling the guy about a possible halloween party at crawford park, starring echo station. i'm really hoping it works out, but i'm not to crazy about calling this guy. maybe i should just suck it up and do it.
shit. except for the fact that of course i cannot find his number. however, i found 800 other post its, with obscure things written on them, like "donahue k" and "erica" (this one in my handwriting. who the fuck is erica?) and notes like, "dumbo ebay 10:15" and "tool tix go on sale tomorrow!!!" and orders for many a dinner. but alas, no phone number to call about crawford. which is supposed to be haunted. how awesome of a party would that be?? oh goody! i just found the number, on the floor by my feet. i am a mess. did i mention that? okay i did it and left a message. like a bumbling moron. but i did it! keep your fingers crossed...

oh young jules is now up, saying "yee ha!" in her crib over and over like the cowgirl that she's become. i better go vacuum before she wants to come out and play. so much to do in the week before school starts!

oh and have you been watching flavor of love? nothing too dramatic to report, but man, what a bunch of retards.

baby mama drama

aren't we all ever so cute? @ the engagement fiesta...

so yea, the party was something. it was an ugly day, but the rain actually held off...until today that is! my dad set up 2 tents, and we strung up these cool(ish) seashell lights everywhere. it was so cozy and cool in there. there were a ton of folks there, all of our family and all of marky's family too! the baby and i wore matching outfits and of course, that rocked super hardcore. juliet was wearing her new rock star boots...



anyway, yea, so there was some insanity. after young jules had gone to bed, we were hanging out on the front porch. i was trying to get to know my sister's boyfriend, when my mother comes flying onto the porch to get my dad...because there was a fight in the backyard!

apparently mark's sister had thrown a drink into some girl's face...hilarious. does stuff like this really happen?! the girl was really an instigator, and her and her boyfriend were seriously just looking for a fight. i felt bad for his sister, cuz she was just mortified. we were all ready to kick these people's asses (including my mother in law who like, flew to the scene to kick people out...i was like, yes indeed, the 2 of us should have been the ones called in the first place!) we calmed said sister down, but it was rough. she was just so upset.

then andy, who seriously does NOT act drunk, passes out on my parent's bed...only to blow the chunks minutes later. thus waking up juliet. so i took our asses home. juliet was like, "mommy, i want to go home. now." so i just had to oblige.

i am so exhausted from all the drama. the best part about the fight was that the 2 families definately bonded in a way we hadn't before, and i'm happy about that. i may have a problem with the other best man, who thinks we should go to las vegas for the bach/bach'ette parties, and apparently wants to have sexual intercourse with my little sister. its a terrible situation. she's married. he's a fucking weirdo. anyway.

the best birthday ice cream cakes in the world are NOT from carvel; they are from longford's. seriously.

seashell shananigans

so i just got back from setting up the engagement fiesta. they found some tents to put up from aunts and cousins and such, and set up a lot of room inside the house too, so i think we'll be safe(ish) from the impending doom of rain. we got these seashell lights to string about the yard and house, and they weren't cheap, though from the christmas tree shop, and yet every single fucking one of them broke. we have a heap of seashells in my driveway. everytime we tried to string the across *crash!* *crash!* at first everyone yelled at me like i'm a retard who has clumbsey fingers (which, yes infact, i am) yet then they realized that these seashell lights are merely pieces of shit.

because you need to know, i got a new outfit from old navy. and a matching one for the d!! i think i'll do my hair in that new faux mohawk shananigan. it will be fun.

my only accessories are my sunglasses, thank you very much

i hate people who are anti-children. granted i have a beautiful 2 year old daughter who i wanted more than i've ever wanted anything, but i have also chosen the profession of early childhood educator, so as a whole i'd say i love children. i believe our children are our future...seriously, i figure by the time a kid hits 7 they're fucked...if they're not being raised properly they're going to be assholes. now, don't get me wrong. i am well aware of the fact that there are children out there who are assholes (like in lucky louie. that was the one funny episode) i used to work in greenwich, and there were many children i would have loved to throw in front of cars. but seriously, you have to realize that it is quite definately the PARENTS who are assholes. children learn from and are a product of their environment.

my daughter kicks almighty ass. she is fucking hilarious, likes to sing and dance to good (as well as annoying) music, she is smart and at 2 can hold a conversation. she makes me happier than all the tea in china (?)

that being said, i think its so fucking hilarious that people act like its a thing that people w/children are superior in any way to single or babyless people. like in that episode of sex in the city (the one i watched. the only one i watched) with tatum o'neil as a mother who was all holier than thou about the fact that carrie could afford manolos cuz she didn't have something as important as a family to take care of. YEA FUCKING RIGHT. people, especially young people like andy and i, are so looked down on for having a child so young. i've felt shitty about it from people here and there, nothing enough to seriously question my decision mind you, but its not like, we're the best people bc we have a kid. for instance, this one fucking girl who KNOWS i have a two year old loves to tell me about how ANNOYING her 2 year old neice is, and how she cannot IMAGINE dealing with that. i'm like, "hi. i have a crazy and loud 2 year old. are you daft?"

i am very much aware that most of this world and the area immediately surrounding us is pretty much annoyed by children. its a fact that makes me hate people more than usual. why don't people respect other people's decisions and mind their own business?

elephants, tigers and llamas, oh my!

Yes, we're riding an elephant. Yes, it was terrifying.

so yesterday marked our annual trip to the dutchess county fair, which takes place way the hell up in rhinebeck, ny. we've been going every year since my sister lyzz was but a wee child, but damned if i know exactly how many years that has actually been. its been a lot. like, maybe 20. we've only missed it one year when we had to go to some dumb baby shower. anyway, we got up there at the usual time. ate first, altho for the first time in many a year (ever) we had not pizza. i had a steak and onion sang, which was quite fantastic. we took our yearly white trash photo, perched upon a big ass tractor. then we ventured out to see the sights.

you know, the usual smelly animals. juliet loved seeing a cow pee all over the place (you seriously should have seen her face). she loved the cows, but she freaked when she saw the pigs (she's a huge charlotte's web fanatic. she was like, "it's wilbur??" and we lucked out cuz there were piglets too!) let's see...she kept asking for the camels, and everyone was like, "how the hell does she know what a camel is?" (duh, i told her) and when we found him, it was awesome. she fed him some food, and was so grossed out she wiped the camel lick all over me (she is her daddy's gal) and said, "goodbye, gentle camel" to which we all cracked up. we also fed a baby tiger. holy cow i would LOVE to have a baby tiger as a pet, they are so goddamn cute!!
there was a crazy ass robot walking around, harrasing people. we obviously saw the silly man w/the white hat and cell phone remote control thingy as he sneakily played robot controller. the guy/robot of course picked up on andy (everyone always harrasses him, its like he has a sign on him. you should see him in disney world. seriously. who else would get picked to play the beast!!??!!)so then the baby got to play with the robot, who started hitting on my mother! it was quite funny.
we ate a lot, but not as much as i'd hoped. as a matter of fact, i'm pretty damn hungry right now.
oh, yes, then we saw the elephant. i don't know if you know this, but juliet is in love with dumbo. she calls him "dumbo the grape" instead of dumbo the great. she has chosen to be dumbo for halloween (too cute!) so when she saw the elephant yesterday, her head popped clear off her neck into the solar system. i was like, "nah, g, we canNOT get up there and ride the elephant. too damn scary." so she rode the ponys, which was fun. then, my mother was holding her while they watched kids float around up on the elephant. and juliet kept saying, "i want to ride the elephant. pppppplease?" in her roger rabbit way...so my mother breaks, and is like, "we're going on!" of course, becky and i had to come. dude, that shit was crazy. we were up 1 million feet. and the guy fucked up so i was in the back while my baby was in front. my mother nearly died. but then. its time to get off. i fly off, becky comes down...i'm trying to get the baby...but she's holding on...really tight...and she's like, NO MOMMY. I'M RIDING THE ELEPHANT! so i'm like, whatever child, and get her off, and we walk down the steps...and she just bursts into tears. she's hysterical, beyond comforting...she just wants to get back on the elephant. it was so funny (in a meanish way. like, she wasn't hurt...)anyway, it was a great day.

tomorrow is the engagement party. no i'm not ready and yes its going to rain. my mother is so dumb for not letting us get tents!

Atlantic City (X)

so we just got back from the most fun 2 days i've had in a long time. there is something about casinos and the mix of up-all-night energy and the despair that you get from these joints.
we went monday afternoonish, and andy kenneth dig and i picked up trish the dish in her summer shanty in belmar. while at belmar we eat in a delectable establishment that was called "surf taco." it is very surfy and the tacos were light and fresh. i kept saying, hehehe, pink taco, and most disturbingly enough, they offered salmon tacos. ew. trish said, "hmmm, maybe i'll try the salmon taco." we laughted a bit, then advised her against it. i had a bean burrito. it was yumskins.
we arrive in atlantic city and its like, 7ish. andy and kenny leave us to go to the 311 concert, and trish and i get ready for a night out on the town. or out in the tropicana.
we first venture into this jazzy lounge, entitled TSOP, or the sound of philly. i love the fact that it is all about the philly, cuz it reminds me of therese and cKy. it is calling to us with its 1/2 price martinis. the atmosphere is cool and the drinks are wonderful. i get an absolut philly. to go with the whole theme of the evening so far. it is a treat to behold. we get hit on by some chica named nicole who i kicked by accident. seriously, i kicked her, and of course i'm all "my god i'm so sorry and retarded!" she's all "its okay, i'm nicole what's your name?" later trisha decides that she is in fact a swinger. who was, by chance, there with kanye west. just letting you know.
so we decide to leave because the place is getting too soul patrol. there's a r&b band on with the doucheyist trumpet player you've ever seen. he is a balding white boy with a ponytail, a polo shirt, and fucking short ass khaki shorts with a BELT. dear lord! anyway, we pay for our drinkcakes and wander into a joyous place called... shit i have no clue what it was called...something rose? anyway, this place is quite fantastic. it has a reddish hue, and the couches and chairs are all white and black zebra print. the place was my favorite color scheme!! oh, did i mention that this place was a karaoke bar? the drink of choice in this bar for me was of course the orgazmo. "stunt cock!" it was pretty much the same thing i was drinking in the philly place, but with redbull to give me wings. and it was called the orgazmo so i could make funny jokes all night. like, "don't think i'm queer or nothin', but you have a sweet ass!" i didn't really say that. but i could have, and it would have made sense.
so i force trish the dish to do her A#1 karaoke hit, "rapture." she does it quite nicely, if i do say so, and everyone screams and yells for her. this place is hoping with fucking douchebags and pathetic, desperate girls with their fat tadows hanging out. this group of dickwads comes in, and while we were all having fun, they were like falling down retarded drunk. they were, in a word, tanked. so this one asspirate does "oblivion" that song...rondevous now i'm through with you? and he doesn't sicg one lick of it correctly! my eardrums exploded in my head. yet these fucking girls and jumping up and down (quite a sight, with those obscenely lowcut tops i can assure you) and screaming like they were watching a bon jovi concert. crap. so we kind of play here for a while, mostly being nice to the dreadful singers (like the girl who did a funtime version of "its the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine). hard song to do in karaoke i'd say!) but being kind of bitchy (at least i was) to these jockdouchebags. eventually, young andy and kenny stumble it. strangely enough at the time, andy called me and was like, "where are you?" and i'll be damned if i couldn't remember the name of the place we were SITTING in, just like i cannot remember it now to tell you. we handed in some more songs, trisha did an INXS song...i think it was "what you need" but i cannot be sure til i watch it on youtube...andy did rockin' in the free world, cuz he's so adorable when he does (even tho he def. did not do a rock and roll echo station version of it for some reason) and then, he was going to do (bhlholhjijhjkihkjhjhkjhjhjhjhhjhjhjhjghcrap crap crap crap crap crap crap)~that was andy interrupting with his dumpster ass. anywho, he was going to do "familiar realm" which was the one cKy song they had in the karaoke book (note: only less than jake song was the science of selling yourself short. in case you were wondering) but much to our delight they did NOT have the cKy song...and he had to sing "since you been gone" by kelly clarkson! hehehe, it was quite fun to hear him sing it in a drunken karaoke bar. after that we went and there was some gambling. kenny the digowatz did a lot of roulette shananigans, which trisha played the sluts. she won a whopping thirty five cent ticket! i took an illegal casino picture of her with it. we eventually found ourselves in heaven, a.k.a. this restraunt that had not only the most heaven sent buffalo wings, but also the best lo mein i've ever had. when we figured out they had chineese food on the menu, we were so stoked! we were like, "woah, there's chineese food on this menu? really? we can get chineese food?" our waiter, however, sucked balls.
the next day we eventually woke up and got ready for the beach. kevin, keely, val and john came to our hotel (they were all staying at the swanky borgada) and we took a walk down the boardwalk. we had pizza for lunch and bid farewell to everyone else. then we lay on the beach for a couple of hours. we attemped to venture into the ocean, but it was quite awful and murky and there were things crawling up my leg.
so the four of us decide, hey, let's go to the pool! so we go back to the tropicana and kenny and andy find it amusing to not have shoes or shirts on walking through a freakin casino. kenny gets yelled at, but andy stealthily wraps his ariel towel around himself like a superhero, and gets away with it, flashing the crowds here and there.
we FINALLY find the outdoor pool, and its nice, on the roof...and the lifeguard tells us its closed. bummer. i almost fight these bitchy girls cuz they made me hold the door for them and didn't even say thank you. then we find the indoor pool. it takes about 2 hours to "sign in" some ridiculous release form or some shit. then we see the pool. or should i say, the pit of despair. or maybe, pool X. we abruptly spin on our heels, and decide to just go back to the room and get ready for happy hour.
which is what we do.
however.
jason X is on. and we of course get sucked into watching what must be the world's suckiest of suck movies. jason, in space. with a bunch of model-like scientists wearing oddly cut sweaters as their futurewear. it was the first death that did us in: jason cryogenically freezes the girls face, and then smashes in on the floor. we were all like, "DAAAAAAMN!" and there goes our night.
because the shit did't end until 5.
and we had to see how it ended. and immediately regretted it.
we get out of our room at 5, cursing under our breaths for watching the retardation that we had just witnessed. kenny states, "i feel a little stupdier now that i watched that." we agreed that we had lost about 3% of our brain while sitting there.
we go to a cutesy place called fire waters for a few beers, and make our 6:30 reservation at the world's most delectable restraunt, the Palm.
man.
at first, we hate the palm. there is no one in there, and the hosts or m'aitre d' s are all reeking of desperation. the menu is really weird, and we have a general feeling of distaste.
then the food arrives.
holy heavenly treats above! the food was so good that we found it quite accptable that we paid $7 for a side of mashed potatoes. they were THAT GOOD. while here, we decided to make up snob names (the restraunt was kind of frou frou, not totally, but it was fun to pretend we were of the elite class). andy's name was "merriweather hucklebottom" and i was his wife, geneveive. trisha was agatha hucklebottom, esquire and kenny was winthrop macdougal, phd. we really amused ourselves with these names and saying funny things such as "pip pip" and "cheerio" and clapping the old golfer's clap.
after this, we went to our room with our leftovers (yea, that good) and we were attacked by a severe case of the 'itis.
we awoke, frozen solid, at 9:30ish.
because we were in atlantic city, and we had had such a blast the night before, we just HAD to get our asses up and venture out.
andy and kenny went to gamble away some dinero, and trish and i went to the boardwalk to find sweatshirts, cuz it was suddenly unbearably cold. we were quite successful, and i even got a new pair of sunglasses to replace the ones i had somehow broken the night before.
we played some sluts. i must say, i fucking hate gambling. its just not fun to me. like, yes, i liked loosing $20 just to experience it, but it's so pointless. you press a button, and some crazy ass things spin around, and you loose. trish won $80 which was quite wonderful. we kind of fucked around the casino til about 1:30 (after my $$ was gone, trish found the computer blackjack game, which i would have loved to play but alas, i am not lois so i didn't play any more), when we ventured into the rose place again. they were like, we're closing. so we went back to the food place, and discussed endlessly the retardation that was jason X. then we were attacked viciously by the 'itis X, and went to bed.
atlantic city fucking rules. i cannot wait to go back!!!!!!!
oh and the d did poopy on the potty for real!

tomorrow is the dutchess county fair and i am so hella excited. then saturday is the engagement party! such fun is afoot!

just to show how dedicated i am...

i'd like to say that i totally broke my laser printer yesterday whilst making the t-shirts. i think i'm kind of in big trouble for that. but andy is handy and hopefully will be able to fix that fucker right up!

as usual, i am bored out of my skull right now. the wellson is asleep (going on 4 hours!) i even cleaned my house which was a disast thanks to the pissclam babysitting and um, leaving popsicle sticks everywhere. i have been poking around the old world wide web, and now i'm begining to get that eyeballs-dripping-out-of-my-skull feeling.

i just added a wonderific ltj live video to my myspace page. i stole it from someone on youtube, and i'm not so sure if you're allowed to do that. but i love it. it is delish.

i also made a kickass slideshow for the echo boys to use on their page, but lo and behold, i somehow lost it. and i want to add new pix to my page but i cannot find the dead frog program i use to resize my pictures. so maybe i'll do that right now.

or maybe i'll read one of the 2 books i am currently enjoying (atlas shrugged and on the road).

echo station rocks beadlepalooza 2006

"echo crowd"
please don't mind my bumpy hair. it was raining.

we had a blast last night. it started out a bit shaky at the biggest party of the year, what with the fact that it started to drizzle at about 6ish, but echo station, the troopers that they are, just said, "who gives a fuck if we blow up?" and proceeded to play. they played, according to young stephen j, "every song we know." which was a heck of a lot of songs, but we were insatiable! we wanted more! it was so much fun! and the best part was of course the "tribal"-ness of "scenario" which i am going to share with everyone:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9IUUi16Etk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2ujz5GLt0k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdfgUS7PHdM
(sorry, for whatever reason, the blogspot link thingy is NOT working.)


so freaking hilarious. anyway. chrissy sang her journey song and the ever so silly kelly clarkson song, and she was so great. then her lovely hubby brian came up and did stacey's mom, and it was awesome! i think he also did a poison song, but i don't really remember...

i had weird dreams all night about driving home from the hamptons. we were driving for hours and not getting anywhere. very odd.

some delicious music news...

Current Bad Religion drummer and Kidneys founder Brooks Wackerman will be on tour handling drums for Tenacious D for a Fall/Winter trek that will take them through the US and Europe beginning in mid October.. Once the tour dates are finalized we will post them here... Tenacious D will be on tour in support of their latest movie and record release, Tenacious D - The Pick of Destiny due out in November. Go to www.tenaciousdmovie.com to see a preview of the flick. Thanks for all the friend requests and comments. We hope to have new Kidneys music released by the end of the year.

i'm a disaster

so i am making these kick ass t-shirts with this new stuff i bought at michael's which is cloth iron on transfers which i thought would greatly improve the quality of the echo station shirts with the let's go steady debbie heart and lo and behold after spending $20 and cutting endless hearts, i read the fuckers are not washable. so what do i do? go get the regular kind so the people i give them to don't destroy them? or just say fuck it, wear them once and see what happens? christ. i love to waste money.

so today is beadlepalooza. we are all stoked. so far today i've been stressing on these t shirts. i made really cute ones for the beadle's as a 'thank you for having such a kick ass party each and every year.' juliet is in her crib, i hope she falls asleep cuz she's sleeping at my mother in law's tonight and i don't want her to be an overtired maniac.

my aba training went very well. unfortunately they drop on me the news that i need to do 2 field observations before i can be given any cases! hello, i could have done this all summer. but i called the girl and told her i needed to do it a.s.a.p. we'll see.

of course, my advisor is still in costa rica with joebags so i have no clue what is going on for student teaching.

i just want to say that captain hooks at playland is fucking awful. we went there last night expecting, i don't know, a bar? a nice little dive? no. it was a snack bar. and then, there was some ridiculous band playing to a crowd of 4. not at all what i thought it was. jen and i decided to buy it and make it into a cool place. just another of our business ventures.

i need to get to staples to save the t-shirts. i am just so lazy right now. maybe andy will go...

when homicide seems like the only solution

here i am again, and yes, i am quite pmsing. but i hate everyone right now. well, not everyone so much as very specific people. like the fuckwads who valet park the cars for macmenimin's next door. i come home w/a 2 year old and cannot park in my fucking parking lot cuz they park across 2 spaces. what the FUCK. i am so ready to go out there and just go crazy. the only reason i didn't when i came in was cuz i had young jules with me. that would have given me the leverage to be totally mental, but that's not fair to do to an innocent and exhausted d.



to take my mind off this i will say that this weekend in the hamptons, my aunt drove juliet and i around and around the streets in town to get the belly to sleep. a particular place we kept driving by was the star room in wainscott, which is literally down the street from her house. it is a room where all the celebs go, and on saturday it was hopping. we kept trying to sneak glimpses at who it was there, but of course didn't see shit. today i read in US weekly that it was CARMEN ELECTRA hosting a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how crazy is that????!!!!

plus, i am very angry at stupid dave navarro who is rumored to be with JENNA JAMESON. ew. she's a fucking pornstar. who's married. i hate when men cheat on their wives. with jenna jameson. i don't even like carmen electra, but i feel like she was wronged. damnit dave. why?!

being a bum

"juliet at the beach...boyeee"

so i got my report card from summer session 1 and that was the one where my prof. told me that going to california and missing 3 classes would negatively affect my grade. well i am pleased to announce that it DIDN'T and i got an A. this would be awesome but for the unfortunate fact that some dumb adjunct gave me a B+ last semester. just cuz she is a dumb bitch. so my gpa is 3.941. just so unfair. maybe i did bad on my practicum, and will get a B+. that will make the pain a bit less.

so we went to the hamptons this weekend and it was nice. judy's house is amazing. it was crazy having my entire family cramped together, but really nice too. well, not nice so much. i don't know. i do know that my father does this ridiculous levitating flip in the air in the middle of his sleep. i also know that he snores like little nicky. it is not a joke. andy actually got up and left the room and slept with paulie (yes i caught paulie cuddling around andy's large bum). but the trip was nice. the d slept pretty well. i mean, she got up at 5am every day, which is fucking madness, but at least she slept through the night.

so i've just been chilling, trying to work on the scrapbook for the engagement party without juliet getting killed...today i was what scrapbooking tools refer to as "cropping" and she was "helping" me (i gave her a bunch of crap to do) and i um, like, cut a picture, and i look up and she's sitting on the glass table pouring salt all over it. she had climbed over the treadmill and onto it. she is wildwoman. so i took her to my in-laws for the day, and ended up just kicking it with my father in law aka poppy aka "pop". tonite we went to rye beach where for 10 years we (mostly andy) played volleyball every monday night during the summer. it was SO weird to be there. saw a bunch of random folks. andy basked in it, like the mayor of p.c. that he is. such a dork. juliet walked right into the ocean. in her dress. look at the pic again...she is soaked.

so poor tori spelling, huh? her mother fixed that shit so she only made $800, 000 off her father's estate. sometimes, mothers are pure evil. this mother had a boyfriend. tori spelling's brother is so frightening looking, isn't he?

tomorrow is my sister liz's 21st birthday. i am hoping we will got to coyote flaco and drink margaritas.

thursday and friday i have my aba training. i am stoked.

i am also stoked about next weekend...we are going to atlantic city for 2 days to partay! my mother is not yet aware that we'll be gone for 2 nights. i'll tell her tomorrow night (over margaritas!)

oh shit, and also, beadlepalooza is back on. on saturday. totally forgot! while i was a bit nervous, billy beets assures me that kathy beets wants a huge and asskicking party, so i'm looking forward to some beadlemadness :)

unwinding

so i spent the day at the beach with the d, and my sister lyzz and my brother young squee...we were going to go to rye, but we went to starbucks in rye ridge, and i hated the yuppie asshole fucking women who order a venti half caf non fat bla bla bla not too hot with just a dab of caramel...uck. then driving down purchase street in rye, with all these snotfaced idiots wearing pink and green and just acting so mightier than thou...so i said, fuuuuuuuck this shit and drove us to glen island, which is my place of enchantment anyway. we had a wonderous day at the beach, and i'm nice and toasty. juliet found a friend when she walked into the water and jumped into some little girl's arms. i was like, "uh, jules?" the little girl laughed and just loved her, which was cute. there were 3 little girls, and they reminded me so much of me and my 2 younger sisters...awww. i miss red wing so much sometimes! and this glen island beach really reminds me of red wing. hence why i go there as much as i can. i unfortunately did NOT have my camera, or i'd show you some cute pix!

so yea. just playing around on the internet. doing random dumb myspace surveys and shit (and oops! i posted one as a bulletin instead of as a blog. i'm so retardo). i found some wonderful websites, like shopkitson.com (which has these funny "that shit is bananas" baby hoodies)(aw, that song reminds me of west palm beach and playing in limos all week!)and this crazy poshcravings.com, which is run by 4 cool mommy ladies. aw.

last night rebecca and i went to XandO and she had apparently never had s'mores before and she was sooooooooooo retarded. she lit her marshmellow on fire, freaked out, couldn't extinguish it (sparks were flying) and then it burns the stick, and the flamish 'mellow falls to the table where it proceeds to just um...burn...i had to intervene, of course. she was like, "well. why did you take me here?" i didn't realize you were so dumb!!! but it was fun. even tho we almost got in a fight with this douchey little prep who like, gave her attitude. god i hate people so much.

...if you won't forgive me the rest of my life, let me apologize while i'm still alive...

new ltj video:
http://www.redvanpictures.com/jakeboy/sitesplash/sitesplash480x360.html"


its really kind of poignant. i cried a little.

i'm not saying you HAVE to be gay to be romantic...i'm just saying it helps.

i was overjoyed to see that the singer/songwriter from savage garden got married in a civil ceremony in london to his longtime boyfriend because it makes such utter sense that someone who wrote such beautiful and passionate and romatic songs was writing and singing to someone of the same sex. yes, like "i want you" which is the most sexual song EVER (try to listen to it and NOT want to have sex, i dare you)and um...i wanna lay with you on a mountain...what is that song called? truly, madly, deeply. just the title is like, uhhhhhhhhh! anyway, yes i have this thing that the best love songs are homosexual at their core. for instance, the entire "pretty hate machine" album was written after trent had ended his relationship with the guy from filter. yes, that's right. and what better pent-up-lust/love songs are there? "i still recall the taste of your tears...echoing your voice, just like the ringing in my ears...my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore, scraping through my head til i don't want to sleep anymore...you always were the one to show me how, back then i couldn't do the things i can do now. this thing is slowly tearing me apart. grey would be the color if i had a heart...you make this all go away. i'm down to just one thing and i'm starting to scare myself..." oh god, the most wonderful of brokenhearted love songs ever. "everywhere i look you're all i see...just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be..." and of course, more trent is god proof: "just when everything was making sense you just took away all my selfconfidence. now all that i've been hearing must be true...i guess i'm not the only boy for you...that's what i get...why's it come as a surprise to think that i was so naive? maybe it didn't mean that much but it meant everything to me..."

i mean, you might be an avid NIN hater and read these lyrics and be like, "dude, these lyrics certainly suck. and they are certainly not filled with love." but i disagree, as will those who have lain on their floor in the dark listening to these songs on repeat and feeling their life drip out of their heart because of some bullshit highschool romance that befelled them once upon a dream.

anyway, to stop my babbling and incessent trent reznor giddiness, i'll just say that i've found it true that such a forbidden love constitutes better poetry and music because of that romeo + juliet starcrossed love aspect...but really, i think i thought it better in my head and i apologize. i do that sometimes.

also, if you were confused by the cKy post a few back, deron miller, genius leadsinger/guitarist/co-founder/songwriter of the band freaked out the day after we saw them...apparently he has been batteling the alchohol monster, and it kind of caught up with him. my friend ashley was actually at the show in Vermont where he said "fuck cKy" and stormed off the stage (i am so glad we were not.) so anyway, he spent july in rehab trying to kind of fix himself, and now they're on tour. we're hoping that he is okay, and that this mini-rehab session will suffice. but the best pat is that cKy is not over. they haven't broken up as we had one feared. hurray.

oh good news

from what i can gather, cKy is doing okay...they're overseas and played in finland for the first time EVER on saturday and they're now floating around europe in what is being known as "summer in a cage" tour...there are some beautiful pix up @ ckyalliance.com, in the photo section, so go check them out if you want to be in a great mood. deron looks good...i know, i know, he always does, but keep your fingers crossed. also, if you feel like even MORE eye candy, check out my youtube delight from the cKy concert in june @

deron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxQJJbB0x4w"

chad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afQIb8aK5-s

yea the one of chad is really awesome, but the one of deron is obviously better. the sound is really terrible, but you probably aren't watching it for the sound...

guilty pleasure post

holy shit, literally...so flavor of love the second and even more fake season has begun and it promises to put the whole new york/pumkin fiasco to shaaaaame. i apologize that i didn't watch and commment until now, but i'll just let you know that andy and i are tiVo freaks, and never watch things when they're on. damn commercials and their brainwashing ways. anyway, flava flav the cat is currently acting like quite the moushad for some reason, and so i thought i'd write about flava flav the crazyass man and his ridiculous jerry springer like show.

spoiler alert.

some girl SHIT HER FUCKING PANTS RIGHT ON HIS FLOOR. she stooped down and let the children out (not at the pool; on the rug). so then she books up the stairs to the bathroom...AND SHITS ON THE STAIRS AS SHE'S RUNNING BY. this bitch puts raab himself to shame! and these hos are all like, "sniff sniff! what's that AWFUL smell?" and one of them STEPS in it! they're all dressed like they're going to the prom only the ghetto slut prom, all titties out and shit and they're like, "where's SUMTHIN?" you know, sumthin', that's the girl's name. (oh, wait, not to interrupt, but flav is NOT on my lap all moushad, it's denis. my biskit) anyway, they realize that the girl is in the bathroom, and that there is quite a stench wafting out and flav knocks and is like, "yo sumthin', did you shit on my floor?" and she opens the door with her pants down and is quite frankly like, "i had to shit. sorry." and EVERYONE IS OKAY WITH THIS. flava flav is all, "yo, g, i like her...she's keepin' it real." SHE FUCKING SHIT ON YOUR FLOOR.

does this happen in real life? my unpottytrained daughter has never shit on the floor, yet this grown woman on fucking tv just oops! let it out all over the floor??? seriously. i am not even making this up. i just don't get it.

also, elf is a great movie. i love the christmas spirit.

the surreal life with flava and brigitte is actually on right now...it is the one w/charro in las vegas, and charro is so cool! but seriously, flava flav is the most ridiculous human being in this world.

"my guys!"

so we had the world's most beautiful day today at jen and steve's slinkster new house... it is quite seriously the most beauteous home you could imagine. its huge and light and spacious and airy...its like a cream puff...no seriously, it was beyond what i was even imagining! we took young jules with us, and we spent the day swimming w/aunt honey and uncle sonny. juliet had such a blast...we were playing "toss the d" where we'd pretty much just hurl her through the air towards one another, and she was getting used to going under quite well, but then she had enough and was like, ok NO more! but their house is perfection. i wish them the bestest of luck there. (with the black devils!)

goddamn it, flav was just perched behind me on the computer chair, and denis (a.k.a. dave the tade) comes up besides us and tries to attack, so my back is hella scratched up. dumb.

so kev had his 92free cast today, and i'll say he had some swell songs played (even if he didn't play echo station. he is NOT bam margera)like bad religion, weezer, sublime, spacehog, silverchair! (i mean, seriously. who besides kevin, keely and me would ever play silverchair? i love it)and some other good tunes (gn'r). so of COURSE it got me thinking, "who would YOU play in a 92free cast?" and i mention it to andy, who tries to play cool, like, "i don't know" and i was like, "dude, you KNOW you've been thinking about it since kev told you he got picked" so he regurgitates the bands he'd play immediately. so now i'm thinking about who i'd play.

cuz i'm pretty sure i'd be an amazing dj...cuz i know from my wicked california iPod playlist that i would just be mixing it up like no one else...so now i'm going to be deciding what 10 songs would make my cut.

altho there is so much to think about...like, would the radio play my cKy or LTJ picks? i'm so going to try to get on the game. (i know, i'm starting to type without putting down on here exactly what i'm thinking. i do that sometimes. sorry.)

like, i'd play bad 4 good if i could. just to be silly.

anyway, i'm going to give it some thought, and i'll totally let you know.

post script

1) this is the school where i shall be student teaching:
The Barnard Early Childhood Center values what every member of our community brings to the educational process. Utilizing the Reggio Emilia approach to educating young children, knowledge is constructed as a result of dynamic interactions between the children, faculty, parents, administration and the physical and social environments. We strive to help children see the connections between learning and experiences and document these experiences in a bias-free community that is rich in diversity of people and thought.
2)don't you love this description:
"i like margaret. she tries hard. she's older, and attractive in a hair-spray-and-shoulder-pads-twice-divorced survivor kind of way. a real bulldozer. she's like one of those little rooms you find only in chicago or new york in superexpensive downtown apartments--small rooms painted intense, flaring colors like emerald or raw beef to hide the fact that they're so small." Douglas Coupland
this reminds me of why i once wanted to be an english teacher.

what exactly do graduate students do when there's nothing left to do?

"it's fucking hot!!!!"

i just spent one and a half hours doing fucking retarded surveys on myspace. (don't beleive me? myspace.com/ladyjaded) like, what natural disaster are you? or what old superstition (black cat, if you were wondering). i did them, yes, but i did them as an escape from writing mind-numbing research papers. it was like watching comedy central or reading an us weekly. but what boggles my mind is that people come up with these things. granted, most of these quizzes are made by illiterate 13 year olds, but i'm just saying. i know there are people out there seriously being like, "i'm going to make a quiz about what hottttie will you marry? and people will love it? and i'll always ask, what is your favorite color?" moronic, don't you think? even more moronic, i had about 15 more done (what britney spears are you? mean britney. what hot celeb are you? lindsey "firecrotch" lohan, unfortunately. who will i marry? some fellow named chad michael murray that strangely enough popped up on several of my love quizzes. but don't feel bad, my other choices were usher, nick lachey and k-fed) but due to a glitch in the website's computer, they didn't get posted. bummer. i know, you wanted to know what character from mean girls i am.

it is quite actually one billion degrees. even in central air, its stifling. i have one more day left of school. my iTunes will not open...why????? it really won't. i want to listen to music whilst i write. hang on...

ahhhhhh...sweet melody. i am now listening to the deliciously evil version of "disengage the simulator" from foreign objects' cd "universal culture shock" which i must say rocks hardcore.

so yea it was an opressing day...i swam w/the julesmeister in a pisswarm pool and i am pretty sure that i have sunburn regardless of the fact that i was only in the pool for mere minutes. she fell asleep in the car on the way home (3 o'clock, shit!) and i'm pretty sure she's gonna be up and crying for dinner some time soon. andy is working til god knows what time AGAIN (something about scumbags and assholes and other such nonsense...i wasn't listening cuz i was seeing what jackass character i am. i'm bam. but it wouldn't post right. bam is my favorite jackass character. i hate steve-o. actually, i cheated, cuz i knew how to answer to become bam. and steve-o. and ryan dunn. it said about dunn, "you're funny, but not necessary" or some shit-ouch. jackass 2 coming september 22 YAY!!!!!!)and for dinner tonite we will be dining on some fine jani (read: sushi.yummy!)

don't even want to think about tomorrow and the sadness i will have in my heart. i wrote a letter to the principal of the school praising her staff and ginny and everything about my experience, and i'm going to write a letter to thank ginny too. i just hate saying goodbye. tomorrow, my old class is having a graduation ceremony, and they invited me and while i'd LOVE to go, it makes me ever so sad :(. good move, being a teacher, huh?

i just ate a bag of wasabi covered edamame, and my tongue is pretty much burnt to the point of not having tastebuds, so i guess andy should take his time.

i feel such a relief to be done w/my papers and that aspect of this summer! only 12 weeks left of my master's and i'm DONE!!! how exciting is that? we're trying to plan a trip to disney for my dad's 50th in january, but he's being a douchebag about it cuz he is just a douchebag sometimes, and my mother is being a psychohosebeast saying she cannot take off of work (fuck port chester high school, seriously) and i hate them both (not really)(kinda really) but i am excited cuz i know at the end of whatever my student teaching experience ends up being, i will be in disney. i love it there so much i can taste it.

only 19 days until the dutchess county fair! i cannot wait! juliet has been watching charlotte's web over and over, and honest to goodness woke up this morning singing, "chin up chin up." (andy and i giggled in our sleep as this ridiculousness drifted through the monitor). cannot wait to eat so much! (the labella family IS tempelton, i assure you).

well, i gotta pee. so peaaaace.

yea i'm in burnout form now

my biggest pet peeve at this moment in time is when people are writing, like in a blog, or an email, or about themselves or leaving a comment on myspace, and they use sudden, random and inexplicable third person description to tell you what they are doing or feeling. like, "hey glen, i like your picture! *smacks head on laptop a couple of times*" its fucking freakish and scary when people write like this. why are you doing this? and i know people who do this shit. and i know they're fucking insane. and pretty much live on the internet (shut up, i do not) so seriously, refrain from doing that.

i finished my paper, and handed in (what i thought was) everything to my professor today. then she drops the bombshell that i need to hand in not 2 but 3 lesson plans. that is such ballsacks, isn't it? regardless, my mother and young jules threw me a suprise day for when i came to pick her up, to celebrate the end of this class, complete w/gifts, a card, a balloon and cupcakes juliet made herself. so awesome!

meanwhile, i cried all day at school cuz i'm going to miss these kiddies and my teacher so much. i'll be such a disaster on friday.

ONLY TWO MORE DAYS!

i watched 'raising helen' last night, thinking it was a lighthearted comedy i could see sans andy (softball again)and lo and behold, i was hysterical crying. i know, its a kate hudson movie. but it was so heartwrenching (maybe only for the oldest sister who has children and has actually had to designate who the baby would go to in case of death)it was really cheezeball and unrealistic, and the problems were seriously cured with such annoying hollywood wisdom, but again, i was touched. and i like kate hudson. she wears such cute clothes and married chris robinson for crimney sake.

i should be writing a lesson plan.

i should be in the shower (its seriously 106 degrees).

i should be sleeping.

breathe, baby

dude, i just finished most of my PAPER FROM HELL. my loving mother kept young will (juliet) until a little while ago (8:30ish) so that i could work on it...i have such extreme ADD that i didn't actually start writing on it until 5. i worked on it for over 3 hours, plus the hours before that i worked on my log and my lesson plans that are also due tomorrow. so i am so close to being finished its a joke...i have 11 pages, and still have to do the discussion. i'm telling you right now i'm not even proofreading it to see if its correct in anyway. i'm almost dooooooooooone!

so yea that was my day thus far. i still have this excruciating pain in my chest, which my godmother also suffers from and apparently there is a name for it (something like chomsky's curse or some shit) and its pretty much acid reflux and she's on meds for it. fanfuckingtastic.

sigh. i finished jPOD, i think i mentioned last time, and it was so funny that there was a whole bunch of comparison of techie/nerd type people (andy) and high functioning autistics, like people w/asperger syndrome. and i just wanted to add to coupland's profiling that young andy 1)cannot wear new clothes until he washes them 2)must immediately cut out any tags that may irritate his precious neck or back and 3)is incapable of wearing "cool" clothes and shoes (he cannot even pretend to put on combat boots or converse cuz they're too constricting and princess in the pea for his feet)
which is cool that he's not a trendy asshole, but you see what i'm saying... he is such a typical coupland character is makes me glow inside. oh man. douglas coupland.

so yea i think i'm going crazy i'm so damn tired yet would up right now...i have found wonderful less than jake videos on youtube.com in case you felt like checking them out.

well, off to feed.