Sloppy Firsts

if you ever wanted to know almost to a pinpoint of accuracy what high school was like for me, read "sloppy firsts" by megan mccafferty. it is an amazing, angsty, teeny, high school saga of a book (not quite as amazing as blake nelson's "girl" but obsession worthy none the less). it frightens me just how close to home it hits. like, this character (whose name is jessica)is in absolute misery because her best friend, who is the only person in the world that understands her, moves away.

!!!!!!!!!!

in high school, IIIIII was completely miserable because my best friend, who was the ONLY person in the world to understand me, went to a different high school. and trust me, it was pretty much the same as her living in tennessee. (which is where the best friend in the book moved to).

while i didn't have 3 BFFs that i hated to take her place, while i wasn't the top student in my class, while i didn't happen to star on the track team, the way that jessica darling felt through out the quite detailed journey of her high school career, is quite exactly how IIIIII FELT!!! of course, that is, until i moved to port chester.

talk about a life changing move.

if i hadn't moved to port chester (a place that i often say i despise, and often really do)my life would have been NOTHING like it is today. the people i met when i moved to p.c. were unlike any friends that i had ever had. from robbie, a friend from birth, who took me under his ex-waterboy wings and introduced me to his entire posse, to amanda, whose brutal honesty both scared the shit out of me and made me respect the hell out of her, to robyn, who was just the most liberated, fun, crazy beeotch in the universe, to andy, who of course changed my everything...jilly, lisa, kristy, laci, heather, kenny, tommy...these people took me as i was after knowing me for MAYBE five minutes, and made me one of them...and being one of them was a lot of fucking fun. senior year was the most fun i had EVER had in high school, ever had in my LIFE...from football games, to the 7 sisters, to "do pigs fly?" "no, but they march!", to doing 80mph on the post road in greenwich (tj's arrested!!), to the teen center (the snobs!), to park ave., to mannie's house, to beth's parties, to 7 WILLOW STREET, to VIVARIN, to standing right next to matt from seLf, to stealing his t-shirts... to shearing the sheep, to being in plays, to churning butter, to the pirates on the china sea, to long walks, pouring my heart out, to 11/9!!!, goldschlager!!!, tommy's crazyass cocktails in pepsi bottles, such as kaluha and pepsi!!!, and that fucking red car of his, to billy's starcraft (that i stupidly drove once), to rye beach, to watching "kids," to being "bad influences" on jill, to being "misery loves company," to "Misc. Bitch", to govt. cheese, to the rye rec, alanis braids, ditching a certain someone, being ditched, that night at rocky's apartment, the bum of park avenue...FUCKING CHRIST...that doesn't even frost the cake of what my senior year was...and while myspace has made it possible to be in touch(ish) with many of the people from my past who helped shape my life into the fantasticness that it is today, it feels like a million years ago that it happened, and it almost has been.

i am so old.

no wonder i am so tired.