overcrowding.

sometimes i just seriously think that i might go absolutely mad. i feel that way right now as a matter of fact. too many thoughts and ideas and problems that need to be solved and puzzles that perplex me are shoved haphazardly into my brain. they're pushing into my eye sockets, giving me one hell of a headache. while i was with my last kid, i got 6 voicemals. 3 were from one person, who by the 3rd voicemail was frantic that i wasn't answering. and of course, now her phone is going straight to voicemail. what was so urgent? i have to go back to work in 30 minutes, will she call back by then? crap! i lie awake at night, tormented by thoughts about work, my kids, their parents...am i doing right by them? what the hell makes my company think that I'M the best person for each case? what the hell do I know?? plus, my professor from CNR offered me a summer position. as a graduate mentor. how amazing is that? just the fact that she offered was awesome. but do i take it? can i take it? what do i do about my current job? will i be at my current job next year? or will i have this NEW job that is already stressful even tho all i've done thus far is write a resume? my head is seriously KILLING me. and of course, then there's juliet. who is now well on her way of becoming potty trained (she did all the work, thank god!) am i doing right by HER? am i scarring her in any way? do i give her too much sugar? do i feed her too little meat? does she REALLY need ot and pt? or was her old school just really fucked up?

this is why i cannot sleep at night.

i know that we all have...not problems, per se. nothing i mentioned is a PROBLEM. it's just that i THINK WAY TOO MUCH. which was the original title of this blog. maybe i should switch it back. also, i smell like jamaican food.