should i give you my excuse?

i cannot believe i haven't posted a blog since june 21st. that is madness. in all seriousness (fyi this must be my most overused catch phrase cuz juliet has started saying it. "mommy, in all seriousness...") i have been hella busy. i started my new job as a cnr mentor teacher (which is stressful and has its downsides, but in all i love, mostly because of the kiddies). i've continued with my best boy doing aba therapy, and he's kind of had a rough couple of weeks so far. i did NOT get the job as a lead teacher, which i am secretly thanking my lucky stars since it would have been so much work for less $$ (it makes no sense)(and it's not really a secret since i told the girl who didn't give me the job today i'm so freaking happy i didn't get it). and last week was THE WEDDING. i am so sad it's over.

starting thursday, i began preperations. i was obsessed with being tan, since i think i look much better in weddings or at weddings when tan (case in point: amanda's wedding, jen's wedding, lindsey's wedding VS. THE QUEEN MOTHER at her own pale ((yet skinny)) wedding). so i paid $22 for a fucking tan at some shithole in pelham. (you can judge for yourself if it was worth it. cuz i was indeed tan at the wedding). i also got a suckfest mani/pedi from some suckfest salon. the girl was so wishy washy i nearly kicked her as she like, caressed my legs. dude, fucking rub them if you're going to rub them. don't just touch. shudder.
rehersal dinner that night. very emotional. mike and amy gave such beautiful and sentimental speeches as they gave out thank you gifts to their bridal party. i love weddings! i love the love that just gushes forth! i also love the necklace i got, as well as the photo and keychain...
next day.
amy beets nearly dotcom moody calls me, ready to go, at 6:15. A.M. i meet her and bethann at juliannos (after strategically placing a sign on my car that says "do not tow me. i'm merely here for the moody-beadle wedding) and we head off to the bronx.
oh, the bronx.
we go to this old world italian hair salon that is so the opposite of carlo and company that i fall madly in love. it's 7am on a friday morning, and the joint is jumping ("joint is jumping=lively, which this place is not"~swing kids)with crazy motherfuckers. we gain instant noteriaty due to the fact that AMY IS GETTING MARRIED. every one in the place wants a piece of us. some special things to remember:
"even educated fleas do it" "they were HUMPING" "i always wondered how they consumated their love..." "who cares if i have a heartattack having sex?" "ladies, ladies" "it's an old blouse..." (about an aerosmith t-shirt) "october? that was right before november, wasn't it?" "jess says things like that sometimes. that's why i like her."
seriously, it was the funniest shit ever. and it was awesome spending so many hours together as a bridal party...we really bonded (us girls who aren't allergic to the morning, that is).
amy looked amazing in her dress and sketcher sneakers, as did us ladies...we hung out at barb's, got hoistened into our dresses (is hoistened a word? i don't think it is...but pretend), took some clever pix (special thanks to jennica and chrissy and their imaginations), i myself took some more clever pix (candid shot...pretend you're talking to each other!), we got into the limo, and 2 seconds later, we're at st. gregory's church. andy and i once again walk down the aisle. mike and amy get married. we clap, there are tears. we go outside. balloons are released. back into the limos. the boys are 12 and want to be alone...no girls allowed. 2 bottles of champagne are drunk. we take more pictures, this time with the males. luckily emily does NOT fall into the brook. we take off our shoes. shari nearly throws hers into the water. flip flops are put on. more champage. girl limo now includes el gato as bartender, so there is dancing and singing and that ed lover song comes on. we have a blast (and boy limo nearly falls asleep, haha). we get to the reception. cocktail hour has not yet begun, so we buy drinks. cocktail hour, delish stuffed mushrooms, a few more cap'n and diets, then it's time for the introduction. i do not dance as we are walking in, despite andy wanting to do his little change move (we'll teach juliet for becky's wedding). mike and amy dance, i cry. i see jen for the first time in a million years. i attempt to be a frat boy for her, but only a mild one. maybe a freshman. we have fun, we dance. we eat. a lot of dancing, a great deal of the rum in consumed. a young beadle boy rivals every person ever to dance. i tell him so. (i hope i did not scare him). i dance with the dj from my wedding, and book him for my 30th birthday party. after we go to davey burns and i assault chrissy and make her come out in her pjs, and then talk to her for hours about spring awakening. then we go home, and sadly, its all over.
i miss it.
i cannot wait to see honeymoon pix...