curse you, bertie bott!

i went to dylan's candy bar in the hamptons and excitedly purchased a bunch of harry potter candy, such as a chocolate frog (which came with a highly tradeable and collectable famous wizard card) and bertie bott's every flavor bean.
so juliet finds them and is like, "jelly bean time!" i give her one and take one for myself, and say, jokingly, "one at a time! they may be booger flavored!" we eat.
juliet gets this weird look on her face.
mine tastes like dirt. really.
so i grab the little baggie they came in and open the flavor guide.
oh
my
god.
booger.
vomit.
dirt.
soap.
pickle.
sardine.
rotten egg.
AND THEY REALLY TASTE LIKE THESE THINGS.
because i'm an idiot, i try again. i give juliet a soap flavored one and take one for myself. she spits it across the room. i spit mine out too (into the garbage, mind you).
and since 3rd times a charm, i try the pickle one.
gag.
seriously, worth the bad taste.