i'm bored of cleaning the kitchen floor

- Get Your Own

reasons i find it highly annoying to have a techienerd for a husband

1. all of my passwords are gone
2. all of my usernames are no longer stored
3. everything that is usually on my desktop is now in limbo somewhere
4. things never work right the first time
5. autotype is shut off

however, i do miss him now that he's at school.

TheBell(a)Jar

last night i decided to reread the sylvia plath classic and first started off reading all of my old english major scribblings along the margins of the books which made no sense to me and got me thinking about just how much i HATED being an english major because for those four and a half years in college, i COULDN'T READ A DAMN THING. and now as i devour the book (quite sure that i might need psychological attention myself because i think that i may be slipping into said bell jar once again) i am filled with insight and witty remarks and can read underneath and between the lines. it sucks.

i got the world's most unimaginable email today. from careerbuilder.com. it said, "have you ever dreamed of a disney job?" my heart fell to my stomach. YES!!! i thought loudly. i opened it and there it was...auditions for the disney character of your dream. it would be for one day, but you also get a weeklong disneyland vacation in june. i am so sending in an audition tape, probably as a princess even though that would be such overkill (imagine how many princess audition tapes they'll get). wish me the luck.

you are a fucking B-lister, you crooked-eyed whore!!

so i am watching surreal life fame games and trying not to throw up in my mouth. if you're not watching, allow me to clue you in right quick: the ex-stars of the surreal life are coming back to play in a reality show type competition to win 100 thousand buckaroos. the stars are c.c. "my first true love"deville, ron jeremy, pepa, some whore from playboy, tracy bingham, crooked-eyed queen herself, chyna or as she's known now (cuz vinny mac is a dick)"chyna doll," brigitte neilson (who i will one day name a cat after), verne troyer, manny mo, rip van winkle or vanilla ice, um...who else...maybe that's it. anyway, you'll notice that every single person i just mentioned is a fucking B or possibly C list celebrity. in other words, NOT REALLY A FUCKING CELEBRITY AT ALL. (except for c.c. who will always me my first guitar love.)so when they first get there it's all like "A List" shit, they get a mansion and all these swank amenities...but once they start losing competitions, they get shunned to the "B List." vH1 is going outta their way to HUMILIATE the fuck out of these (albeit low ranking) rich and spoiled celebs. making them pay for drink sin a casino, putting them in a white trashy room, making them eat hot dogs and drink beer. personally, i think it would be fun to be B list...but apparently these fucktards feel like they are ABOVE. "no one's going to open the door for us?" dude, i highly doubt that tracy bingham has a fucking driver opening her doors for her. has she been in anything since "baywatch" ???? i'm going to go check...

i'm back.

first let me apologize cuz miss crooked-eyeballs is actually TRACI bingham. oops. and here is her impressive (reality bullshit filled) resume:
"Celebrity Paranormal Project" (1 episode, 2006)
- Pearl's Story (2006) TV Episode
"Reno 911!" .... New Williams - Deputy Verlot (1 episode, 2004)
- Department Investigation: Part 2 (2004) TV Episode .... New Williams - Deputy Verlot
"Girlfriends" .... Candy (1 episode, 2004)
- A Partnerless Partner (2004) TV Episode .... Candy
Lingerie Bowl (2004) (TV) .... Host
"The Proud Family" .... Jasmine (1 episode, 2003)
- Smackmania 6: Mongo vs. Mama's Boy (2003) TV Episode (voice) .... Jasmine
"Rock Me Baby" .... Kia (1 episode, 2003)
- A Pain in the Aspen (2003) TV Episode .... Kia
More Mercy (2003) (V) .... Sandra Marshall
... aka Bad Bizness (USA)
"BattleBots" (2000) TV Series .... Feature Reporter (2001)
... aka Comedy Central's BattleBots (USA)
"Rendez-View" .... Guest Host (1 episode, 2001)
- Blonde Ambition (2001) TV Episode .... Guest Host
"Black Scorpion" .... Vapor (1 episode, 2001)
... aka Roger Corman Presents Black Scorpion (Canada: English title)
- Life's a Gas (2001) TV Episode .... Vapor
"Strip Mall" (2000) TV Series .... Dawna (unknown episodes, 2000)
"The Parkers" .... Angela (1 episode, 2000)
- Since I Lost My Baby (2000) TV Episode .... Angela
"Malcolm & Eddie" .... Jane (1 episode, 2000)
- The Best Men (2000) TV Episode .... Jane
The Private Public (2000) .... Laina Brookhart


"The Jamie Foxx Show" .... Donyel (1 episode, 1999)
- Joy Ride (1999) TV Episode .... Donyel
D.R.E.A.M. Team (1999) (TV) .... Victoria Carrera
"The Dream Team" (1999) TV Series .... Victoria Carrera
Foolish (1999) .... Simone
"Exploring the Fantasy" (1999) TV Series .... Host
Beach Movie (1998) .... Stephanie
... aka Board Heads (Australia)
... aka Boardheads (USA)
"Sin City Spectacular" (1 episode)
... aka Penn & Teller's Sin City Spectacular (USA)
- Episode #1.15 (????) TV Episode
"Baywatch" .... Jordan Tate (2 episodes, 1996-1998)
... aka Baywatch Hawaii (USA: new title)
- Next Generation (1997) TV Episode .... Jordan Tate
- Rookie Summer (1997) TV Episode .... Jordan Tate
"Head Over Heels" (1 episode, 1997)
- Vice Guy (1997) TV Episode
"Married with Children" .... Lap Dancer (1 episode, 1996)
- The Agony and the Extra C (1996) TV Episode .... Lap Dancer
Exposed: TV's Lifeguard Babes (1996) (V) (as Traci A. Bingham) .... Model #7
"Dream On" .... Porno Actor 3 (1 episode, 1995)
- Am I Blue (1995) TV Episode .... Porno Actor 3
Demon Knight (1995) .... Party babe
... aka Demon Keeper
... aka Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight (USA: complete title)
"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" .... Santa Helper (1 episode, 1994)
- Reality Bites (1994) TV Episode (uncredited) .... Santa Helper

and she's complaining cuz she cannot handle being BLIST????? how about the fact that you're D list, you dumb fucking ho.

and that's really all i have to say about that.

Sloppy Firsts

if you ever wanted to know almost to a pinpoint of accuracy what high school was like for me, read "sloppy firsts" by megan mccafferty. it is an amazing, angsty, teeny, high school saga of a book (not quite as amazing as blake nelson's "girl" but obsession worthy none the less). it frightens me just how close to home it hits. like, this character (whose name is jessica)is in absolute misery because her best friend, who is the only person in the world that understands her, moves away.

!!!!!!!!!!

in high school, IIIIII was completely miserable because my best friend, who was the ONLY person in the world to understand me, went to a different high school. and trust me, it was pretty much the same as her living in tennessee. (which is where the best friend in the book moved to).

while i didn't have 3 BFFs that i hated to take her place, while i wasn't the top student in my class, while i didn't happen to star on the track team, the way that jessica darling felt through out the quite detailed journey of her high school career, is quite exactly how IIIIII FELT!!! of course, that is, until i moved to port chester.

talk about a life changing move.

if i hadn't moved to port chester (a place that i often say i despise, and often really do)my life would have been NOTHING like it is today. the people i met when i moved to p.c. were unlike any friends that i had ever had. from robbie, a friend from birth, who took me under his ex-waterboy wings and introduced me to his entire posse, to amanda, whose brutal honesty both scared the shit out of me and made me respect the hell out of her, to robyn, who was just the most liberated, fun, crazy beeotch in the universe, to andy, who of course changed my everything...jilly, lisa, kristy, laci, heather, kenny, tommy...these people took me as i was after knowing me for MAYBE five minutes, and made me one of them...and being one of them was a lot of fucking fun. senior year was the most fun i had EVER had in high school, ever had in my LIFE...from football games, to the 7 sisters, to "do pigs fly?" "no, but they march!", to doing 80mph on the post road in greenwich (tj's arrested!!), to the teen center (the snobs!), to park ave., to mannie's house, to beth's parties, to 7 WILLOW STREET, to VIVARIN, to standing right next to matt from seLf, to stealing his t-shirts... to shearing the sheep, to being in plays, to churning butter, to the pirates on the china sea, to long walks, pouring my heart out, to 11/9!!!, goldschlager!!!, tommy's crazyass cocktails in pepsi bottles, such as kaluha and pepsi!!!, and that fucking red car of his, to billy's starcraft (that i stupidly drove once), to rye beach, to watching "kids," to being "bad influences" on jill, to being "misery loves company," to "Misc. Bitch", to govt. cheese, to the rye rec, alanis braids, ditching a certain someone, being ditched, that night at rocky's apartment, the bum of park avenue...FUCKING CHRIST...that doesn't even frost the cake of what my senior year was...and while myspace has made it possible to be in touch(ish) with many of the people from my past who helped shape my life into the fantasticness that it is today, it feels like a million years ago that it happened, and it almost has been.

i am so old.

no wonder i am so tired.

Wired All Wrong

Matt from seLf is in this new band, Wired All Wrong, that has a fantastic debut album...anyway, this is a thing they started to DEMAND that WAW come play in the NYC area. just vote, cuz they rock. also check them out.

...how do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart...

so i've discovered that it is really difficult for me to write about our disney trip.

because it makes me paralyzed with depression.

i had written a poingnant and philisophical piece while in disney, sitting in the pop century resort, in the dark, on andy's laptop, and it somehow disappeared before i published it. it had to do with disney being my favorite place on earth, and our vactation being absolutely magical and splendid, but how you could definately unearth the maggots of america squirming beneath the glittering and man-made surface. and without digging too deep.

somethings that i want to share with you:

1)many parents are fucking assholes. indescribable, horrific, piece-of-shit assholes.

2)people are disgusting, capitalist, consumer-obsessed sheep. SHEAR THE SHEEP!

3)walt disney had a pact with satan himself. no doubt.

4)and he has his head frozed beneath pirates of the caribean.

despite all this, the week between january 17 and 22 was the best week of my life.

is that odd? i'm fully ready to pack up my shit and U-haul ass right down to central florida and put on a minnie mouse head, which will make me pass out and puke from the heat and stench, and get pummeled by (most likely) asshole children lead by their asshole parents. i'm ridiculous.

but as i've mentioned in the past, real life sucks. i hate my job lately (oh, and this is because PARENTS ARE ASSHOLES. don't EVER forget this). it is fucking cold outside. and i'm just always always always tired.

blogs to read every day

http://phartblog.blogspot.com

http://littlesomethingrefreshing.blogspot.com

http://millenniummommy.blogspot.com/

RockStarMommy

crusty eyes

i had a shitty day. i hated it and i hated people with an intensity that had me nearly pass out in the mamaroneck avenue school. but alas, it's finally the weekend. thank god.

you heard about willow street, right?

overlysentimental

i usually don't even read these types of things, but lately they've been touching my heart. "i don't know what you just said, little kid, but you touched a brotha."

To Realize
To realize The value of a sister>Ask someone>Who doesn't have one.>>>>To realize>The value of ten years:>Ask a newly>Divorced couple.>>>>To realize>The value of four years:>Ask a graduate.>>>>To realize>The value of one year:>Ask a student who>Has failed a final exam.>>>>To realize>The value of nine months:>Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.>>>>To realize>The value of one month:>Ask a mother>who has given birth to>A premature baby.>>>>To realize>The value of one week:>Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.>>To realize>The value of one minute:>Ask a person>Who has missed the train, bus or plane.>>To realize>The value of one-second:>Ask a person>Who has survived an accident.>>>>Time waits for no one.>>>>Treasure every moment you have.>>>>You will treasure it even more when>you can share it with someone special.>>>>To realize the value of a friend or family member :>>>>LOSE ONE.

coolest site on the internet

www.peekvid.com
watch full movies, t.v. shows, cartoons, anime, and more. it's madness.

rules to live by...

Rules in This Life

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age
eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. Your friends love you anyway.

38. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

dontcha wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me?

just watched the first 4 hours of american idol and it's bloody awful. crap!

pictures

of disney can be viewed HERE.

new york

i am so fucking depressed to be home that i'm nearly paralyzed. i barely want to move. i have so much to write about but i cannot muster the energy to do so. stay tuned for a long post in the future.

Echo Station @ Mercury Lounge

even tho it's ONE A.M. and i'm supposed to be up in 4 hours to get on a plane, i just had to quickly jump on here and lament about the wonderful fucking show that echo station played tonight. the turn out was amazing...thank you from the bottom of all of our echoloving hearts to all the people who went out of their way on a freeeeezing cold tuesday night to show their love and support. it was insane. we were expecting perhaps half of the people to show up, and were so excited when the place was jam packed. it is TUESDAY and everyone has work tomorrow, so there wasn't the usual crazy ass echovibe that usually buzzes around the echoshows, but there was a lot of dancing and enthusiasm (especially from the bleacher creatures...you guys were fantastic!)and singing along. the boys were tight and on point as usual, and while "debbie" was excellent (and illegally caught on film)the true pinnacle of the evening was absolutely "heartbreaker"!! if this was a drink-fueled evening, there would have been a full blown mosh pit in effect (as it was, there was a dumb short girl with striped leggings and ballet flats flitting about pumping her fists in the air. that was me.) i am looking forward to seeing echo station rock out mercury lounge again in the near future!!! i am so proud of you guys, and very happy about how tonite ended up...hurray!!!
and now i'm off to bed and dreams of disney world...

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIICe!

Sacha Baron Cohen Won for Best Actor in a Comedy!!! fuuuuuuuuck yes!!!!

again w/the golden globes

fucking cars beat happy feet for best animated movie? no.

the golden globes...

i was just about to remark about the golden globes are sucking my balls (both grey's anatomy girls were NOT winners and so far it's pretty much all english folks)but then hugh laurie won for house! hurray for hugh. i hope old leo wins. and borat! fingers crossed!

is it ALL just wasted time?

i hate the fact that i get lost all the time. i just drove into pelham, which is literally right down the street from where i've lived for 5 years, and where i work 5 days a week. i was hoping to get my hair blown out before florida and the echo station show. but alas, the salon i have been going to (for weeks)was closed. so i decided to trek down to juliet's school to pay her tuition.

her school is right down the street from said hair salon.

so why was i lost for a fucking hour? seriously, i drove around in circles and whoopdeewoos and shennanigans for one hour. my back is in knots, my head (under the weight of the un-straightened frizzy afro of hair)is pounding...and i'm crying out "i hate myself! this is just preposterous!!" while turning around in someone's driveway.

it stresses me out so much because it is just such a waste of time. don't get me wrong, i'm totally cool with wasting time. if i'm truly wasting time. like, sitting around bullshitting, lying around cozy at home, reading, playing on the computer. but driving around aimlessly (or, with aim, but maybe...ceaselessly?)wasting gas, in the rain and fog, just makes me crazy.

and i have so much to do. i still haven't packed. because i am a procrastinator. i was preparing to pack for 2 weeks, but now that the time has come, i'm at a standstill. i did pack for juliet, including her little pink cowboy boots and jon-benet high heel ariel shoes, but i have NO CLUE what the hell to pack for myself. christ.

it's 2. tomorrow is my most dreadful day of work, PLUS we're going to the city to see echo station. at some point i must do my godforsaken hair. pack. go visit parents and inlaws to say goodbye. clean up house. go to sleep to wake up and be fresh all day tomorrow.

it ain't happening, is it?

behind blue eyes.

there are days
and moments
where i start to think
feel
that it's all going to crack
the facade
bravado
that i'm living under
and that my broken bleeding soul
will be shining out
naked
for all to see
i don't think you would laugh
i'm sure you would cry
but i don't want
need
your pity
don't look at me
with your eyes
burning
you'll never know.

The Art of Elysium

This is a MySpace site that I support, and you should support them too!
****************************************************************************
SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT US TO YOUR FRIENDS!
We are new to myspace and would love to build our cyber friends circle. In the future we would love to collaborate with many of you as well.
So please have your friends add us to our page and even leave a comment about what you think of us.
we wish you a peaceful and a bright Sunday.
GOD BLESS
The Art Of Elysium
www.theartofelysium.org


The Art of Elysium, a non-profit 501(c) (3) organization founded in 1997, encourages working actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talent to children who are battling serious medical conditions. We provide artistic workshops in the following disciplines: acting, art, comedy, fashion, music, radio, songwriting and creative writing.



Vision:



The Art of Elysium is dedicated to enriching the lives of artists and critically ill children. We believe that there is a powerful and mutual exchange of hope and appreciation that occurs when artists share their time and talent with children battling serious medical conditions.


The lives of these children are largely filled with suffering, loneliness, fear and regimen. Artists have the unique ability to help children in need find a creative voice and discover a sense of individuality and self-efficacy, even in the midst of overwhelmingly difficult circumstances. In return, those same artists, who have been taken outside of their normal scope of work, are stretched and enriched in ways they never imagined.


Through this inimitable exchange between artist and child, the artist experiences the power of giving and the child experiences the power of their own artistic journey.

true story.

this morning juliet woke up singing, "let's go steady, debbie!" andy and i were listening through the monitor and we were just laughing so hard. i went to pick her up and she was like, "mommy! let's go steady, debbie!" and i was like, "i heard! you love that song?" she was all, "i love let's go steady debbie!" it was the funniest thing i have ever heard. and just such a testament to old echo station.

come on vamanos! everybody, lets go!

sorry, dora is on the speakers in my room cuz old jules is watching yet also sleeping. it is hella annoying.

so i got my raise dimensions today. i will actually start getting paid in february. my salary will be going up by (for cpse) 100%, and (for ei) about 160%. that is insane. so i will be making more than double my salary a week. let's hope we can sock that shit away and be ready for a house within a reasonable amount of time.

i guess going back to school was worth it.

i am getting ready to settle in for some coziness with andy as soon as he gets back from school. oh here he is!! i already have my robe on!!

yesterday.today.tomorrow.the next day. so on and so forth.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

like i didn't know it already.

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 90% Wonder Woman 85% Hulk 70% Green Lantern 70% Batman 55% Robin 55% Superman 50% Spider-Man 50% The Flash 50% Catwoman 50% Iron Man 50%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

...you fucking promised me...

i'm listening to "and all that could have been." nine inch nails. i haven't been able to listen to nine inch nails for awhile now cuz it was making me too upset. i also cannot listen to the new ltj cd. personal reasons that are so black and horrible that i don't even want to think about them while typing this.

anyway, i am recalling the nin concert on 3/11/06, almost a year ago, at atlantic city's house of blues and holy fucking shit what a night. nin is a legend in my mind and the mind of many of those i surround myself with. and who were with me that night. even though everyone i was with were total pussyassholes that night. yes, i mean andy and mark especially. at least mark was "sick." andy was just retarded.
i was right.
in.
front.
of.
trent.
fucking.
reznor.
nin only plays in ballsack places like MSG so every time i've seen them it's been just fucking awful. after the nin MSG concert that previous year, i vowed to myself, and everyone who would listen, that i don't do arenas anymore. fuck that. so then alas, nin at hob. and i was right there. in front. in a cloud of some girl's wild blond hair (we made friends later as we were the oldest people in the pit. she was 30). trent sweat right on me. i licked it. there was a long wait before he went on, because of the dumbass smoke machines that set off the fucking FIRE ALARM. chrimney. anyway, i've been listening to "eraser" and "reptile" on repeat all day long, and i must say that i think i'm back in lust w/the NINers.

angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress...

life
is just an illusion
that is as real as
a knife
slicing your wrists
an ice pick
crushing your temple
nothing
means anything
but it hurts like your insides are being chewed up
and spit out
and it makes you smile til you cry
and your head pounds
and it makes you worry and think
and dread and laugh
until you feel
insane.

are we insane?

tuesday.

today i was told that as of 2/1 i will be an official SEIT for theracare. as for how much dinero i shall be paid, i'll find out on friday. keep those fingers crossed... we can certainly be celebrating in disney world!
what will being a SEIT change in my life:
-2 out of 3 of my clients cancelled today. i do not get paid for their absences. however, once 2/1 rolls around, I'LL GET PAID FOR FAMILY CANCELLATIONS!!
-i will be an official full blown teacher instead of a bullshit t.a. regardless of the fact that i have all the credentials of a regular teacher.
-the money. delicious.

juliet did great in school today with the exception of a minor naptime night-terror incident. that scared the other kids. oh well. my poor d. i have started a "d centered" blog for old jules, which is called A Whole New World. if you ever feel like checking it out.

i am in the midst of folding three thousand tons of new clothes that juliet got for christmas. such cute things, but most of them may be too gargantuan to fit her til next winter. this is my break.

tomorrow my mother and i are going to see nathan lane's new play "butley." i am going to watch "the producers" tonight to get in the spirit. i am quite pooped as usual.

did anyone watch the surreal life fame games? i got so into it. i just love me my c.c. ever so much. and brigitte is back, and apparently having lesbian love affairs with chyna doll. you know, chyna. from wwe. or wwf. oh lawsuits. you are so silly.

okay young jules is saying "i need a new movie." so i guess she's done w/dora. i must put in something suitable :)

WHAT'S THE NAME OF MY BLOG???

seriously, i just fucking love the echo station. i just watched superoldschool videos that andy has on the computer (cuz i decided echo station needs some videos on line for chrimney sake!) and i came across the most wonderful clip. it is from our old favorite echohaunt, Marty's, you remember before it became a whore house. and the audience is singing it's balls off (and this is august 2002, almost three hundred years ago!)to 'claire' and steve just stops the song...hey! why am i describing it to you? just watch it. and make sure to keep your eyes open for steve's death metal and silly dance...seriously, watching this made tears come to my eyes. because first of all, the boys of echo fame were practically toddlers. they were infants! steve is ever so babyfacesmooth! andy has that hair. joebags is 12. (looking). mike is unrecognizable. yet they rocked so hard, even way back then. and their fanbase was just as strong, even way back then. i am so proud of them for how far they've come these past year. there is another vid on there entitled "pianos final" as in final show as in january 21, 2006. the day they thought was the end. who the hell would have ever imagined that one fucking year later they'd be playing at mercury lounge? that they'd have won noteriety for "debbie." that they would have such amazing support from people like jason gordon, productshopnyc, and marc spitz? it blows my mind. okay, anyway, enough of the rambling. watch this for some amazing memories...

meloncholy. and jonathan brandis

what is wrong with me that every year about january 8th, i get really depressed about the death of jonathan brandis? last year, it was this very day that i was cleaning up from christmas, listening to toad, just so sad about him. and today, there was a commercial for some show called "blvd. of broken dreams" which appears to be about hollywood stories of disaster, and they showed him and it just went through my heart.
and just cuz, from wikipedia.com
Born in Danbury, Connecticut, Brandis got his show-biz break at the age of six when he landed a recurring role on One Life to Live and appeared in numerous commercials. He moved to Los Angeles with his family at age nine and made guest appearances on shows such as L.A. Law, Who's the Boss?, Murder, She Wrote and Kate & Allie.

He received his first starring role in The NeverEnding Story II, and went on to appear primarily in television roles. Of these, he is most famous for his portrayal of scientific prodigy Lucas Wolenczak in Steven Spielberg's futuristic science fiction series seaQuest DSV. He is also well known for voicing Mozenrath in Disney's television series Aladdin, and having played Barry Grabrewski in the film Sidekicks co-starring Chuck Norris. He also starred in the soccer movie Ladybugs with actor/comedian Rodney Dangerfield.

During his lifetime he was romantically linked to Tatyana Ali, Heather McComb, Vinessa Shaw and Monica Keena. He accompanied actress Brittany Murphy to her high school prom.

He expressed an interest in moving his career towards more directing work rather than acting. He had also auditioned for the role of Anakin Skywalker in George Lucas' Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.


[edit] Death
On November 12, 2003, Brandis died from injuries he suffered after hanging himself the previous day. He was 27 years old. According to his mother, he went out to dinner with friends, then they went back to his apartment at 650 S. Detroit Avenue. His friends reported that he seemed to be agitated and pacing around quite a bit. He left the room and, approximately 15 minutes later, one of his friends went looking for him and found him hanging by a nylon rope in the second floor hallway of his building. His friends cut him down and called paramedics. Despite efforts to revive him, he was later pronounced dead. The Los Angeles Police Department released a statement regarding his death:

On November 11, 2003, at about 11:40 p.m., a friend of Jonathan Brandis called police to report that the actor had attempted suicide at his apartment, located in the 600 block of Detroit Avenue. Paramedics from the Los Angeles Fire department [sic] responded and transported Brandis to Cedars Sinai Medical Center where he eventually died from his injuries. Brandis' death was announced by hospital staff on November 12, 2003, at about 2:45 p.m." ([1]).
Jonathan apparently did not leave a note of any kind. According to his mother, he had no prior suicide attempts, drank socially, quit smoking over two years prior, and did not abuse drugs. There were no personal problems, except for the fact that he could be quite hard on himself. She has also questioned whether his use of the acne drug Accutane may be to blame, citing that one of the clinical side effects has been said to be psychosis and suicide. In a People magazine article, friends were quoted as saying he was lonely and depressed about his career lull. One friend said he knew Brandis drank heavily and had even told friends that he might kill himself. He was also said to be upset when his appearance in Hart's War, a role he hoped would be his comeback, was cut from the film.

are you crying? yea!

on a funnier note.

jackass 2.
filled with so many penises i didn't know where to turn.

weight. world. shoulders.

it has been one of those days again where i am left emotionally drained with thoughts swirling every which way. talking to others just angers and confuses me so i sit in silence pondering what went on.
is she okay? i know that she is.
does she have problems? i know that she does.
have i made the right decisions? in my heart, i know that i have.
however, i hear all these voices. all these opinions. totally irrational, biased, loud, confused(ing), defensive, uneducated, unaware, flippant, with-good-intent, yet just not right, opinions. shoved down my throat. and i keep my mouth shut because i am well aware that you cannot argue with these people and their opinions. but they do nothing but upset. anger. confuse. annoy the fuck out of me. because THEY DON'T KNOW.
and i do?
maybe i don't.
but my heart is at stake and i would only do what is best for my heart. my angel. baby girl.
so yea, it's been one of those days. where i could fall dreamlessly into a deep slumber, except for the fact that all of these thoughts are swirling violently through my mind my soul my heart.
she's asleep. she is drained too. she's aware. she knows what's up.
my angel.
my heart.

boston sucks.

we went to boston for the night for my sister's 27th!!! birthday. we went to a great place called sanctuary, and there were these huge buddas overlooking our table. i had a most delicious lobster roll on a croissant and some crazy drink called a wild orchid that had grape sugar rimming the glass. i kept licking it off. it was awesome. there were a lot of amie's friends there, and this one boy who was her college friend's boyfriend. he was nice, yet very much in like with us as a group! he told andy he was a kindred spirit, and convinced me to steal the vase from the table.

did you ever wonder...

...what the boys of echo station see from stage? well, wonder no more:

Another day/Some other Way/But not another reason to continue

Dirt on FX is the best new show of 2007. who would have thought that old courtney cox arquette would be the one friend who would have a watchable show? we sat thru joey, tried to get into it, but alas, just as he kissed alex, cancelled. never even attempted to watch the chandler show. cuz i just didn't like him that much. hate jennifer anniston. sick of her in the news. i suppose i'm *team angelina*. obviously. anyway, being on FX is probably contributing to the coolness of the show. on FX you can just get as fucked up as you want. you'll recall the best shows (rescue me, nip/tuck, it's always sunny in pa) are on FX. the show is gritty and evil and fucked up and courtney cox is more gail weathers then monica gellar which is just more fun anyway. bam! bitch went down!

juliet was evaluated for physical therapy today. lady was nice, juliet has some definat...e..? (how the hell do you spell that word? def.)issues, in that she has some delays, but i don't know if it will be enough to qualify her for services. we'll see at the end of the month.

andy is playing the really-poor-graphics XboX360 game of marvel heros or some shit and it looks boring as hell. i'm trying to get ready for tomorrow (going to boston, having a jewelry party, juliet sleeping over grandma judes) but am getting so exhausted i may just fall asleep.

Just a reflection
Just a glimpse
Just a little reminder
Of all the what abouts
And all the might have
Could have beens
Another day
Some other way
But not another reason to continue
And now you're one of us
The wretched

The hopes and prays
The better days
The far aways
Forget it

It didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, did it

Now you know
This is what it feels like
Now you know
This is what it feels like

The clouds will part and the sky cracks open
And God himself will reach his fucking arm through
Just to push you down
Just to hold you down
Stuck in this hole with the shit and the piss
And it's hard to believe it could come down to this
Back at the beginning
Sinking
Spinning
And in the end
We still pretend
The time we spend
Not knowing when
You're finally free
And you could be

But it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
It didn't turn out quite the way you wanted it

Now you know
This is what it feels like

You can try to stop it but it keeps on coming
You can try to stop it but

be there or be square...

MY FRIENDS FUCKING RULE!!!!

yes i mean you!! i posted that thing about voting for echo station at the sxsw show this afternoon and it just blew up! one douchebag wrote "not echostation" but there are like 13 other comments from fans who are just making a lot of noise (as one person put it!) and there was only one from yours truly so that means you guys RULE! if you haven't voiced ur opinion (ahem, hopefully echo friendly) shout them out here!

OH and did you hear the amazing news?

echo station got offered a shot at Mercury Lounge. it is a huuuuuge ass deal and they are so stoked. mr. joebags booked himself a 12 day notice plane ride home from costa rica...so you know that shit is important. unfortunately it is on a tuesday night at 10pm. while a lot of the college kiddies are home until the next week (is anyone out there still in college?)most of us other folks have jobs and reasons to be rested...however...I REALLY REALLY NEED TO BEG Y'ALL TO PLEASE PLEASE GET UR BUTTS TO MERCURY LOUNGE. the next morning i'm taking a 6am flight with a crazy and "out of sync" 2.5 year old to disney, so you know i'll be sacrificing some sanity... but this is a really amazing opportunity. mercury lounge is one of those "you guys really made it!" kind of joints. things are really happening for them. it's so funny cuz there are always shennanigans with echo station and florida. when echo station first started out, we had booked a vacation to sarasota w/my sister and her boyfriend. then echo station got a gig somewhere that was at the time very impressive. i think it was the elbow room, and one of their second or third shows. so we changed our flight to come home early and mr. dot com had to come pick us up... here we are six years later, playing at MERCURY LOUNGE. and if andy hadn't had an exam on tuesday the 16th (which, yes he does, so imagine how beat he will be) we would have been in disney world by that day. oh how fate intervenes. anyway, enough of my philosophizing (or something). here is what mr. dot com had to say!!!

************************************************************
Happy New Year to all. 2007 is starting off great for us.
One of our major goals since we started this band was to play The Mercury Lounge. There are bigger and nicer places in NYC and around the country, but The Mercury Lounge continues to be one of the most highly regarded venues to play for up and coming and established bands. We are extremely excited and grateful to have finally gotten the chance to be one of those bands.

We will be playing The Mercury Lounge on Tuesday, January 16th at 10:00pm. That is only 12 days away! We realize that this is short notice and that we're asking you to come out on a weeknight. We promise you though that the exhaustion you will feel the next day at work will be well worth it. Every gig is important for us, but since we consider this place to be one of the Mecca's of the music scene, this gig is more important for us then usual. We want to make a good impression on Mercury Lounge. We're ready to do our part but we need your help to make it a truly great show. Mark your calendars and if you have to, take a sick day on Wednesday. It is after all, a new year!

We'll see you at Mercury Lounge on Tuesday, January 16th!
-Mike

it is now my duty to completely drain you...

so many things and andy is on his way home with applebees so i must type quick...juliet is doing so-so in school. she didn't cry today, and stayed til 3:30 AND took a nap, but she sometimes doesn't listen and doesn't sit in circle time. we knew that. i'm feeling good about it.
i am typing quite retardedly so if there are errors, i apologize.
last night was fucking awesome. we came to the conclusion that we really cannot live too far outside of nyc cuz we go there too often. we ended up at tony's di napoli, which is rumored to be better than carmines. i wouldn't know cuz i've never gotten INTO carmine's (not even on a wednesday night) but it was pretty damn good. the play. okay, so i've mentioned that i'm a bit retarded. the tickets were for january 2. last night was january 3. asshole. so i fucked up. i wrote it wrong on my calendar. so being the asshole that i am, i'm like, okay, instead give me the best seats you got. so we sat 9th row center, and the guy gave us a huge break cuz he felt bad that i'm so fucking stupid. it was AWESOME. it was the best performance i've seem them do (it's my 3rd time seeing this cast so i should know). while "a chorus line" was seriously the most amazing play, i have to say that RENT is just the most perfect piece of work ever created. love it. andy also loved it and he cried. yes he did. and we decided if we ever put on the show (someday...) he will in fact play angel.
yes.
okay he's home with the food. more to write later. if i don't pass out. i'm so completely drained that i'll travel thru a tube and end up in your infection. seriously.

you'll do this if you love me...

fucker!! i am trying to post a trackback link to productshopnyc...it's not working, so you'll have to do some work. there is a very interesting post on productshopnyc right now.
here is what the post reads:
SXSW | Stooges, Interpol, Lily Allen, Bloc Party, More!
SXSW is shaping up to be mega! Who do you think will be the big buzz band this year?

The first batch of acts for this year's South By Southwest (or SXSW) has been announced and includes The Stooges, Interpol, Lily Allen, Bloc Party, Devin the Dude, Hoodoo Gurus, Matt & Kim, Ghostland Observatory, the Watson Twins, the Stax 50th Anniversary Soul Review, Ozomatli, Turbonegro and Cold War Kids.

And who should Product Shop book for our house party?

go here. go here now. you'll have to scroll down a bit but you'll see the post. and then you will post a comment saying that you looove echo station and that they should be booked for the house party!!! do it do it do it.

it's the final countdown...

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

oops. i knew i had a problem.

i called out sick today. cuz leaving juliet at school just broke my fucking heart. so i want to be there to pick her up. maybe early. probably early.

is it me or is new years day the most depressing day of the year?

so i've had a crazy last few days. on thursday night, my sister amie came back into town for my dad's party. we did a bunch of last minute bullshit for the fiesta (like stuffing deviled eggs and other such nonsense and bitching about it for the entire time), eating sushi, drinking wine, watching BEERFEST, drinking beer, and just having a great night (ooh ess ay! ooh ess ay!).
oh and i also got my self a sweet ass betsey johnson bag with a gift cert. from my in laws. score!
then friday we set up crawford park which looked fucking awesome. i got these mini bottles of sutter home wine, and printed up these adorable labels to stick on them with my dad's picture as a baby and a nice little "thanks for joining us." they were fantastic. the party itself was great. kenneth digowatz was a great bartender, and also a hit with all the old ladies. seriously. he eventually got pulled to the dance floor and was shaking booty. it was madness.













. late that night some really bad and yucky stuff went down, but i'm not even going there right now. as far as i'm concerned, out of sight out of mind. however, it damn near ruined the rest of the weekend.
saturday, exhausted and worn out as i was (and seriously hung over), we went to see "a chorus line." which was so fucking great. hurray. we were unfortunately in nyc and TIMES SQUARE the night before new years eve, which made it even more filled with people than usual and it was hella annoying.





yesterday (new year's eve) we went to the jet game. i slept through the entire 2nd quarter. seriously. slept. then i woke up and pretended to know anything about football and cheered and had "fun."







last night we played scene it movie and music editions and name that tune, with my parents, cuz it was my dad's 50th actual birthday. hurray. andy and juliet and i slept in my parent's hobbit-like bedroom and watched the matalocalypse marathon.





"put me back in bed!!!"
today we ate a lot of fucking food. at grandma's. and i am so exhausted and my throat is killing me. balls.
i have work. juliet starts her new school. yuck. yuck. yuck.
i am so depressed the season is over...there is nothing left to look forward to (except disney world!!!)new year's day always makes me feel so hopeless and depressed. so it's all like, "oh happy NEW year!" to everyone all day, and i'm just so blah. like, i want to sleep for 2 weeks straight. fuck new years. i'm so sad cuz my sister is back in boston. i'm so sad cuz we have to go back to our dumb fucking lives instead of all hanging out together and having fun. i'm so sad cuz i don't know how juliet is going to like school. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...