let me whisper in your ear...

so people keep talking about "the secret." my aunt said something to me about it, my friend said something about it, both in passing, both as tho i had any idea whatsoever what they were talking about. so i just decided to look it up, and i have found a vast amount of information...from the website thesecret.tv. i don't really understand exactly what's going on, it this is a book or a movie or what, but what i've read so far has enticed me. and since i'm on this new "positive thinking" kick, i'm seriously trying to buy into it. i have been trying to take everything in my life that i would look at negatively (i.e. EVERYTHING.)(not that there is actually anything negative in my life. i just happen to be the real life poster girl of teen--ahem, adult--angst. it is a chemical imbalance that i'm pretty sure is genetic.) and spin in positively. like, for instance, i was thinking about something dumb...i don't even remember what...maybe that teacher who doesn't like me... and said to myself "what doesn't suck about this situation...no! what is awesome about this situation!" really. i'm trying.

a specific example: i was about to write about something that really bothered me today about that teacher that doesn't like me but i erased it and said, let's not waste time! let's not waste energy! (it's still in the back of my head. get OUT!) i am a really good therapist. my kids LOVE me. i REALLY help them! i ROCK! (it may become annoying and all "gosh darn it people like me" on this here blog for awhile...)

tomorrow is my last day of work before...Disney!!! we actually got reservations for 3 character meals...princess lunch @ norway, where we will eat weird food; playhouse disney breakfast starring little einsteins and jojo, where we will eat mickey waffles; and cinderella dinner @ the grand floridian...where i will drink a glowing blue martini! yes, i am so excited!

oh yes. it is valentine's day. i seem to have forgotten this because my valentine is in class. boo!

valentine's day always me nervous. when i was a youngster that is. when i was in 8th grade, i went to a small catholic school. there were maybe 40 people in the entire grade, 20 in each class. one of the boys in my class supposedly "liked" me and asked my friend what i would do if he asked me out or give me roses or something such as that on valentine's day...i am totally hazy on the details, seeing as though it was about 16 years ago...anywho, needless to say (well, needless if you were there suffering thru that year with me) that i was like, "ewwwwwwwww. gruesome!" i'm pretty sure that this particular boy wore foundation to cover his zits. and he was really a dork. and he listened to rap. (seriously, you THINK i've changed in the past few years? i haven't). so of course i was TERRIFIED like, what the hell am i going to do or say? i didn't want to be mean. but i did NOT like this kid. and so the horrid day comes...and he indeed HAS a rose...and he GIVES it to ANOTHER GIRL! the most "popular" and "beautiful" girl in class (according to the yearbook. but in real life she looked like my ass. seriously. i have people who can vouch for me). so i was like "phew!" because there was NO way i liked this kid...but then again...fuuuuuuuuuck you! then every year in high school i was terrified that this event would replay itself. like some awful dork would come up with roses and be like, "i love you!"

i know what you're thinking.

but can i please just state that while this never happened to me on valentine's day, it happened to me a LOT. once in 5th grade (ahem, it scarred me)where this kid called me up out of the blue (i was 11. i had never actually spoken to him) and said "i like you. do you like me?" i was like, "what?" he never spoke to me again. THEN it happened my freshman year in high school, with this crazyass senior metal dude with long hair and very feathered bangs...he was so perfectly 80s. and while he didn't listen to rap (hehehe) he was terrifying. i was 14 and he was 18. that is just wrong. he had a dear friend who was basically "where's waldo." the only person that can imagine how extremely hard i am laughing right now is christina. so yea. he kept calling me up and it was very very scary. and it happened a bunch of other times that i won't mention because while i was pretty scared of boys for a time i'd rather not get into just how lame i am. or was.

so yes.

valentine's day. now it's magical because i got engaged on valentine's day and so did jen & steve so it's all good.

these are the most romantic lyrics i've ever heard since "the perfect drug":

Just too unreal, all this/Watching the words fall from my lips/Baiting some girl with hypotheses/Haven’t you heard the word of your body?/Don’t feel a thing, you wish/Grasping at pearls with my fingertips/Holding her hand like some little tease/Haven’t you heard the word of my wanting?/O, I’m gonna be wounded/O, I’m gonna be your wound/O, I’m gonna bruise you/O, you’re gonna be my bruise/Just too unreal, all this…

sexy time I LIKE!

my soup is getting cold.