i am utterly exhausted

but we're home! i'm dreading the return to normalcy. can't really make coherent thoughts right now. and some dumb shit is on the cartoon network now. bummer.

stuck but in a good way

So we have been in disney for 8 days now. We were supposed to be on a flight early yesterday morning but alas they cancelled it! They got us on a flight for Monday which means we all miss work, don't have an extra weekend day to relax when we get home, and had to scramble to find a place to live for 3 extra days. On the absolute bright side, I am sitting in the Magic Kingdom waiting to have dinner with Winnie the Pooh wearing shorts and a tank top (and Mickey crocs) instead of freezing in NY.

let me whisper in your ear...

so people keep talking about "the secret." my aunt said something to me about it, my friend said something about it, both in passing, both as tho i had any idea whatsoever what they were talking about. so i just decided to look it up, and i have found a vast amount of information...from the website thesecret.tv. i don't really understand exactly what's going on, it this is a book or a movie or what, but what i've read so far has enticed me. and since i'm on this new "positive thinking" kick, i'm seriously trying to buy into it. i have been trying to take everything in my life that i would look at negatively (i.e. EVERYTHING.)(not that there is actually anything negative in my life. i just happen to be the real life poster girl of teen--ahem, adult--angst. it is a chemical imbalance that i'm pretty sure is genetic.) and spin in positively. like, for instance, i was thinking about something dumb...i don't even remember what...maybe that teacher who doesn't like me... and said to myself "what doesn't suck about this situation...no! what is awesome about this situation!" really. i'm trying.

a specific example: i was about to write about something that really bothered me today about that teacher that doesn't like me but i erased it and said, let's not waste time! let's not waste energy! (it's still in the back of my head. get OUT!) i am a really good therapist. my kids LOVE me. i REALLY help them! i ROCK! (it may become annoying and all "gosh darn it people like me" on this here blog for awhile...)

tomorrow is my last day of work before...Disney!!! we actually got reservations for 3 character meals...princess lunch @ norway, where we will eat weird food; playhouse disney breakfast starring little einsteins and jojo, where we will eat mickey waffles; and cinderella dinner @ the grand floridian...where i will drink a glowing blue martini! yes, i am so excited!

oh yes. it is valentine's day. i seem to have forgotten this because my valentine is in class. boo!

valentine's day always me nervous. when i was a youngster that is. when i was in 8th grade, i went to a small catholic school. there were maybe 40 people in the entire grade, 20 in each class. one of the boys in my class supposedly "liked" me and asked my friend what i would do if he asked me out or give me roses or something such as that on valentine's day...i am totally hazy on the details, seeing as though it was about 16 years ago...anywho, needless to say (well, needless if you were there suffering thru that year with me) that i was like, "ewwwwwwwww. gruesome!" i'm pretty sure that this particular boy wore foundation to cover his zits. and he was really a dork. and he listened to rap. (seriously, you THINK i've changed in the past few years? i haven't). so of course i was TERRIFIED like, what the hell am i going to do or say? i didn't want to be mean. but i did NOT like this kid. and so the horrid day comes...and he indeed HAS a rose...and he GIVES it to ANOTHER GIRL! the most "popular" and "beautiful" girl in class (according to the yearbook. but in real life she looked like my ass. seriously. i have people who can vouch for me). so i was like "phew!" because there was NO way i liked this kid...but then again...fuuuuuuuuuck you! then every year in high school i was terrified that this event would replay itself. like some awful dork would come up with roses and be like, "i love you!"

i know what you're thinking.

but can i please just state that while this never happened to me on valentine's day, it happened to me a LOT. once in 5th grade (ahem, it scarred me)where this kid called me up out of the blue (i was 11. i had never actually spoken to him) and said "i like you. do you like me?" i was like, "what?" he never spoke to me again. THEN it happened my freshman year in high school, with this crazyass senior metal dude with long hair and very feathered bangs...he was so perfectly 80s. and while he didn't listen to rap (hehehe) he was terrifying. i was 14 and he was 18. that is just wrong. he had a dear friend who was basically "where's waldo." the only person that can imagine how extremely hard i am laughing right now is christina. so yea. he kept calling me up and it was very very scary. and it happened a bunch of other times that i won't mention because while i was pretty scared of boys for a time i'd rather not get into just how lame i am. or was.

so yes.

valentine's day. now it's magical because i got engaged on valentine's day and so did jen & steve so it's all good.

these are the most romantic lyrics i've ever heard since "the perfect drug":

Just too unreal, all this/Watching the words fall from my lips/Baiting some girl with hypotheses/Haven’t you heard the word of your body?/Don’t feel a thing, you wish/Grasping at pearls with my fingertips/Holding her hand like some little tease/Haven’t you heard the word of my wanting?/O, I’m gonna be wounded/O, I’m gonna be your wound/O, I’m gonna bruise you/O, you’re gonna be my bruise/Just too unreal, all this…

sexy time I LIKE!

my soup is getting cold.

guess whaaaaaaat?

it's snowing!

or at least it was.

and i cancelled work.
and i am really feeling quite guilty about it.

because i've been sick for 10 days now. and i did not work last week due to a furious sinus/ear infection. and woke up today worse than ever. unable to speak. and the d is even sicker than me.

and we're going to disney world in 4 days.

maybe school will be cancelled tomorrow.
yay!

so i've been working on my online norwalk public schools application for the past 2 hours * just in case * and it's making me nuts filling out page after page after page. i got bored and thought i'd bore you all.

to tears!

seriously, i have nothing to say.

WALK NOW FOR AUTISM

i registered a team! please do me a favor and go to the website and either donate $$$ (tax deductable) or **join my team** we will have the most fun walking on June 8th...even Juliet is participating!

Hello Out There in WWW Land:

I am participating in Walk Now for Autism to help find a cure for autism. Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism. Not only must we find ways to improve the quality of life for children and adults with autism, but we also must find a cure, and soon.

Walk Now for Autism is our chance to make a difference in the fight against autism by raising money for autism research and heightening public awareness. Please join me in my fight as I raise $1000 to help fund essential research. I will be walking on Sunday June 8th @ Manhattanville College and would like you to support those affected by autism. You can donate to Walk Now for Autism and join my team online through my webpage at Team La Bella Bambini. Donations can also be mailed to Autism Speaks using the donation form located on my page or send me a check made out to Autism Speaks. My team name is La Bella Bambini; please note this on your check and the donation form.

Please join me in my fight against autism. Thank you for making a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today.

slightly more productive?

so i basically spent today in bed with an ear infection/sinus infection/throat-killing-me type deal going on, yet i somehow ended up being more productive than yesterday. i rearranged my entire schedule (uh, one kid) and ended up with more hours and thus am one step closer to buying that townhouse! (and one step closer to totally burning myself out! goooo, me!)

i also finally called my lawyer to see where my business was, offically. yeppers, i am starting my own business. but since they apparently have not officiated it yet, i'm not going to talk too much about it.

well, why not?

it's called "La Bella Bambini." that means "the beautiful children." as far as why i did it, it has to do with taxes and other really painful and awful stuff like that but still, i'm excited because you know me...i'll end up doing private kids within the year! especially if we get that townhouse...there is a PERFECT spot for an office! so i'm putting this out there...on june 8th there is a "walk for autism" at manhattanville college and i'm going to put together a team...Team La Bella Bambini! i'll be more specific in the future, but go me again for being so constructive despite being in my pj's at 4:30pm!!!

so today is fat tuesday. it is also mardi gras. but we call it fat tuesday. it has to do with the italian not french version of it. my mom hosts fat tuesday every year since we've moved to port chester. this will be the 13th fat tuesday. man, that is nuts! i remember amanda being at one of the first ones. i keep dreaming about amanda, which is weird. anyway, we eat "meats" that we will be "deprived" of on lent. i just want to say that i do not deprive myself of meat during lent ever since 1)i got out of catholic school and 2)the pope (who is not the nazi pope we have now, but are you aware that our pope is a nazi?) said it was "okee dokee" to eat meat on st. patrick's day, which was a friday in lent. ohhhhhh, for st. patrick's day it's okay...i get it! no! that would have been a REAL sacrifice, you stupid people! anyway.
i don't remember what i was saying.
oh yea, meats, antipastas, pasta's with meat, etc. we get to eat like fat cows and then (ahem.) diet til my 30th birthday! (this is not what the world will be doing. it is what WE will be doing!)

oh, and there is an election tonight. i am not saying a word right now. but check this site out...
http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460

lookie here!

i spent the day being highly unmotivated and unconstructive as my little boy was sick so i didn't have work. juliet officially cancelled school, and so i stayed home in my jams watching my little pony and polar express over and over. don't fret, i attempted to have her do some worthwhile things, such as sign her valentine cards all by herself (yes she can do it! but she makes me so nuts because they are pixar cards with little circles for TO: and FROM: and her name won't fit in once circle normally, so she writes it j l t u i e...basically wherever she can fit a letter! ahhhhh!) and she colored some fat tuesday cards (which my mother won't like because she only likes the italian version, with the meats. don't ask.)so i wanted to write a little something before i either a) start watching the freaks and geeks dvds or b) watch hairspray!
basically, all i can think of to write is "i think i have an ear infection."
not really good enough?

...and her voice is a backwards record, it's like a whirlpool and it never ends...

last night we went to see they might be giants at the beacon theater and everytime we see they might be giants i just feel the urge to blog because it freaks me out that i first saw them when i was 15 years old which was almost 15 years ago. ew. we were the worst tmbg fans there because we didn't listen to the new album yet. and they played two sets but they were really obscure songs. and while they played ana ng and purple toupee, they didn't play any of my other favorite songs. and we were up high high in a balcony seat where we couldn't really see and i didn't really feel like bopping and dancing around because diagnally to us were these absolutely awful girls dancing with no rhythm whatsoever. and i'm going to be honest. they totally ruined the show for me. because they were just kind of bopping up and down awkwardly, and once in awhile pretending to play the trumpet or something. so fucking awkward. i had to look away. but it was like a car crash. i thought for sure that they would fall off the balcony, as they were in the front balcony row. but they didn't.
anyway.
they played "the alphabet of nations" for some reason which is off their ...here come the abcs dvd/cd, which is juliet's jam. so i call her, and she listens. then i call her during intermission, she goes "are you at they might be giants? why didn't you take me? that's rude!" i nearly pissed my pants. because she went to see tmbg when she was younger (5th row, much freaking better!) she also said "you better buy me a t-shirt!" i love it!!!
so yea. that's that.
tonight is the superbowl. as i hate football, i am trying to convince my sister to watch "american psycho" with me in my room. but she wants to watch the commercials.
superbowl will forever remind me of the weekend that echo station was recording and jen, keeley, kristen and i went out the night before to that crazy place "the beechmont" where jen did karaeoke to "patience" and then i puked in her car (still so sorry about the grossness of that!) and then the 4 of us met them in the studio and recorded back up vocals for that song! you know, "hey! hey!"

so so many years have past and it makes me so very sad.