My Daughter is Braver than Me

Every year we do the walk for Autism Speaks. Even though I know that people with Autism have differing opinions on whether Autism Speaks is a worthwhile cause to support, I have done the walk for the past 12 years with great success. While last year I took a hiatus for personal reasons, I decided this year to recommit my family and walk again.

Last Spring, my daughter was diagnosed with autism. Due to dropping of the term "Asperger's Syndrome" from the DSM-5, she is not classified as such, but would have been a year earlier. Despite knowing from age 4, despite working with students on the spectrum for 10 years, despite advocating for the label even at such an advanced age, the diagnosis still came as a bit of a shock to me, so the walk was a bit too much to handle in 2015.

Certain people know. My parents, Andy's parents, our siblings Her best friend and family. My close friends and colleagues; Andy's colleagues with Autistic siblings. Juliet is who she is. She is a genius, she is quirky, she is shy, she is a musician, she is an actress. She has an amazing group of friends. Her friends have amazing parents. We live in a beautiful community. She has supportive teachers. She does well in school. She has anxiety in the early morning or late at night and in the beginning of spring or end of summer or when it is time to leave a grandparent's house. Juliet is Juliet.

When I signed up our team for the Walk, literally yesterday, I was hesitant. Should I put Juliet on blast? Did I put her out there for all of her amazing friends to see? Did they know she was on the spectrum? Did they NEED to know?
Talking to her best friend's mother today, (who is one of my best friends) I remarked how wonderful it is that she has such a close knit group of such wonderful girls that are there for her, that she has this camaraderie that a child with her social awkwardness really could have difficulty having. Somers is a blessing.
 Juliet's closest friend here in Somers also has Aspergers. His mother is another of my closest friends. She goes through the same sorts of issues with her son that I do with Juliet- she finds such solace in her friendship with her son. It is another blessing. She is a hero to me. She created a team for NAMI- National Alliance for the Mentally Ill- which we joined- and are raising money for and are walking for.
Juliet would do anything for her best friend Brian. She adores him. She is so strong in her beliefs. I found this out in (ahem) going through her texts. And in doing some snooping (not really) I found this Instagram Post (I'm her friend so it isn's REALLY snooping):

This effin kid man.

I was worried. I was worried about letting people know. My kid has autism. I didn't know if she'd be embarrassed if her friends knew. She isn't. She let them know. She isn't ashamed of who she is. Because she is a ROCKSTAR!

am NOT ashamed of my daughter- WTF?!? She IS a ROCKSTAR. She has missed like a zillion days of school this year being sick with pneumonia and stomach bugs and strep and fevers yet is still on high honor roll, gets 100% on tests, busts her ass on projects, really CARES about her friends and their feelings, makes sure her homework is done, makes sure the dog is walked, makes sure the dishwasher is emptied (sometimes), is a phenomenal artist, awesome at trumpet, great singer, ridiculous actress, french speaker wannabe, Panic! lover, Melanie Martinez Thank you to all of you who have given her a chance. To you have seen beyond the "rude". My girl is a super hero in the making. Be patient. She is working on it.